Polar Bear Butt

Polar Bear Butt

There once was a very crabby polar bear. He was all backed up.

He hadn’t been able to have a polar poop in weeks!

polar bear funny kid

It was making him verrry scary to be around. He clearly wasn’t eating enough vegetables and natural fiber.

polar bear proctologist

A little boy became his friend and offered to help…say what?!

I didn’t put my kid up to acting like a Polar Bear Proctologist, but I did laugh and capture the pictures.

Because I’m mature.

polar bear butt funny

This is not how children’s stories are supposed to go. Ewww!

polar bear spank heidi ferrer

Yep, my sense of humor is all grown up.

xo-

~h

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Warm Mushroom Turkey Salad!

Warm Mushroom Turkey Salad

I loooove mushrooms. Yesterday, I looked in my fridge and I had a bag of sliced white mushrooms and a bag of baby romaine lettuce and this idea popped into my head- a warm mushroom salad for lunch! Yummy.

You may not be able to tell from this photo, but I ate an entire 8 ounce bag of mushrooms on this dish.

You could use half of that, but this is very high fiber, low carb, nutritious and filling. Plus, it’s only 3 Weight Watcher points for the whole thing. Boom.

Ingredients:

1.) Eight ounces of washed, sliced mushrooms- I use white this time. 70 calories.

2.) Two cups of lettuce of your choice, I used organic baby romaine this time- 15 calories- but you know what would also be delicious with this? Baby spinach leaves.

3.) Two ounces good white meat deli turkey, chopped. 60 calories. (Or use a chicken breast, fish, etc. or make it vegetarian.)

4.) One tablespoon salad dressing of your choice, I used a vegan Caesar one that I get in the refrigerated section of Whole Foods. It’s 35 calories per tablespoon.

You could also just use vinegar or lemon and a teaspoon of olive oil.

5.) One teaspoon of extra virgin olive oil. 30 calories.

6.) One to two teaspoons of Dijon mustard. 5-10 calories.

7.) One to two teaspoons of salad vinegar- I used white balsamic vinegar, you could use regular balsamic instead, or white wine vinegar would be good.

8.) Optional- One clove finely chopped or minced garlic, 4 calories, dried parsley for garnish, hot sauce if you like spicy, salt and pepper to taste.

Directions:

Once the mushrooms are washed and sliced, just cook them in a nonstick frying pan with a tiny splash of water and the lid on. I added one clove of minced garlic that I made with a garlic press.

When the water begins to expand, drain off all excess water using the lid and continue cooking with the lid off until they’re almost done, but not dried out.

Meanwhile, whisk together the extra virgin olive oil, the mustard and the vinegar.

Toss that mix into the mushrooms and stir with a safe spatula like bamboo, cooking another minute or two until they look delicious. I added a dash of garlic salt, or just salt and pepper them to your taste.

Put your washed lettuce or baby spinach on a plate and put the warm seasoned mushrooms right on top.

You can warm the turkey if you like, I popped mine in the microwave for 20 seconds. Lay the chopped turkey on top of the mushrooms and drizzle your salad dressing over the salad.

Eat immediately, but don’t burn your tongue. That’s it!

I added a few dashes of Cholula Chipotle hot sauce, a dash of dried parsley for garnish, and tossed the whole thing together before eating- delicious.

Calories: About 225 calories and 3 Weight Watchers Points.

(For those of you counting, I counted one for the turkey, one for the EVOO, and one for the dressing. The veggies are zero. Yay!)

Enjoy and hop over and “Like” Skinny Mama Meals on Facebook for more recipes and weight loss inspiration.

XOXO-

~ Heidi

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Happy Easter 2014!

Girl to Mom Easter

From me and my little bunny- he’s still young enough that I can get him to wear the ears! Have a beautiful day. Love, H

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The 10 Stages of A New Diet

Heidi Ferrer

1.) Day One: This is awesome! It’s so easy. I’m finally taking the bull by the horns. Summer, here I come!

*Doesn’t tell friends she’s starting diet so they don’t look better than her on the beach*

2.) Six hours later, Day One: I’m effing hungry.

Am I going to be hungry the whole time I’m on this plan? Oh, crap. I’m gonna eat a bowl of fresh salsa. That’s a free food.

Well, it’s a free food if you have two tablespoons. So I’m having 10. Same diff.

Ok, add one ounce of cheese to it. It’s fat free feta, it’s only one point.

*Puts self to bed.* *feels Jesus like and pure*

3.) Day Two, wakes up- I did it! Whoo hoo! Day One and I stayed under my calories/points! I’m in control. Yay, me! I’m rocking this. It’s actually fun.

*Checks how many points are in every food in the world. Decides never to eat at McFattie’s again*

Am I getting obsessive? Yes, but that’s just part of the start of this kind of thing…I’ll even out.

4.) Day Three. I’ve done this plan for two days already. I can do this, baby!

Ugh, I’m already sick of salad and high fiber vegetables, but I won’t get de-railed this time.

I’m eating a shizzload of salt on everything, but I have to have flavor somewhere. I hope I’m not bloated tomorrow.

Salt ages your skin, doesn’t it? I don’t care, this diet is not forever. Or is it? Do I have to do this forever?

5.) It’s Friday night, can’t I have some take-out food? No, you can’t trust restaurants. They lie to you. Bake some organic chicken and low carb veggies. Lots of garlic, salt and hot sauce. Still in control.

6.) Later Friday night, Day Three.

It’s midnight. I just want some little organic cheese crackers. *Pours giant bowl of cheese crackers and wolfs them down*

I don’t care. I don’t care. Eff it. Continue reading

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Holiday Binging Runs in the Family

someecards.com - I wish someone would tell me to sit in the corner and think about what I've eaten.

Today Bex, age 6, was at a Spring Break kid’s day camp that visited an Easter festival, complete with two bouncy houses, crafts and a huge Easter egg hunt on the grassy lawn.

All of the kids who participated in the hunt got a big bag of candy, both little candies inside the plastic eggs, and a take-home bag.

When we came to pick him up at the end of the day, he was sitting with his group, but kind of in the back, alone, with a glassy eyed look on his face.

I recognized that look. It was the look of having just finished, completed something difficult.

He took a long swig of his water bottle, not looking at me.

I approached him, eyeing his open bag of candy. “Bexon, did you eat all of your candy already?” I asked him.

We’ve talked a lot about how too much sugar is bad for you, can make you sick. Bex has diabetes in his family genes, we talk a lot about healthy foods and how important it is not to eat only sweets.

When he gets an upset tummy, he always says “I think I had too much sugar,” even when it’s totally unrelated. It’s so cute.

He looked up at me with his sweet little, big brown-eyed face and confessed.

batman face painting

“I’m very sorry to tell you, but yes, I ate all of my candy.”

Pause for effect. He continued, “And it was on purpose.”

Well, at least he was honest about it! ;-)

xo-

~h

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Skinny Banana Pancakes!

Skinny Banana Pancakes

It doesn’t get any easier than this, y’all: These pancakes are very healthy, low calorie, flourless and gluten free and contain only two ingredients!

A banana and an egg. That’s it. If you count Weight Watcher points, the banana is zero and the egg is just two points, boom.

All you do is mash up a ripe banana in a small bowl, I used a 5-6 inch little one and the riper it is, the sweeter it will taste.

Whisk or beat up a large or extra large egg with the banana, making it as smooth as you can, but chunks work, too. You can even mix it in the blender.

You can add a dash of cinnamon if ya like, I did, or some vanilla extract, optional.

Now just spray some cooking spray in a nonstick frying pan, or use a little butter, I used olive oil spray. I bet coconut oil would add a nice flavor, too, sort of island-y.

Tip: It’s easier to cook these if you spoon out a little bit of batter at a time and make 3-4 small pancakes.

These are very moist and tender and only one banana and one egg made a very large pancake that filled up my whole frying pan!

The first time I made these, I had to scramble it, which tasted delicious, too.

The second time I made three minis and it was easy to flip with a spatula. You can also put a lid on the pan to help them cook through.

Serve with a little maple syrup or just sprinkle with cinnamon, you can also sprinkle on some Truvia or other no-cal sweetener, but if the banana is very ripe, you don’t really need it.

It’s sweet enough by itself.

Calories: Only 160 calories, not counting oil or syrup. With a bit of cooking spray, it’s still less than 200 calories and very satisfying. Yum!

Enjoy and hop over and “Like” Skinny Mama Meals on Facebook for more recipes and weight loss inspiration.

XOXO-

~ Heidi

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Puppies Learn About Life – Video

I can smell the puppies’ breath in this video. Squee! Sooo cute. Thanks, Buzzfeed. xo- h

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Posted in Adorable Animals, Cute Animals, Funny Animals, Video | Leave a comment