Johanna Stein and BlogHer ’14!

johanna stein

Hey, I got sooo lucky, BlogHer ’14 gave me the gift of a very fabulous and funny co-speaker, Ms. Johanna Stein, in our session at the conference this Saturday, July 26th on Publishing- Taking it To The Limit- Screenplay Writing  (11am to 12:15.)

Arianna Huffington is our “opening act” earlier that day, ha ha.

But seriously, Johanna (pronounced like Jo-Anna, the H is silent) is kind of a Tina Fey type, lovely and funny and bright and kind.

I think I’m cyber stalking her at this point, and I seriously want her bed in the above photo. Adorable child, too, but you can’t steal those. Then you have to take care of them and who has the time?

You will simply love JoJo, as I now call her. In my mind. I hope I’m scaring her, now…

child on a plane

She just got a very funny book on motherhood published, check it out here: How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane

One essay involves using the puke bag on a plane as a puppet and something horrifying happens…

Who ever said motherhood is glamorous?

And psst, the word on the street is, she’s giving out free book copies after our session, and maybe some meth brownies too, I don’t know…pass it on.

I’m sure I will be a tad nervous before speaking, but who doesn’t love a twitchy eye? And, hey, this is subject matter I have a lot of life experience in. Blood, sweat and tears and an actual Writer’s Guild pension for when I’m old (tomorrow!)

We’re speaking about screenwriting, publishing a book via a traditional publisher (That’s Johanna), writing for TV and also creating original web series…

Johanna did an awesome one for Yahoo, sponsored by Procter and Gamble, where she wore many hats, including writer, producer and performer.

She may have directed it too, listen, I can’t keep up with this mother effin’ lady. Check it out here on her website video section: Life of Mom.

We’ll both talk for a wee bit Saturday, and show some very brief video clips of our produced stuff, then answer any and all burning questions about The Biz.

We’re focusing on fun and practical advice and real talk about how to break into show business as a paid writer, or do original stuff you produce yourself like a web series, or get a book published, the marketing and all the sparkly shizz in between.

Plus, making bank from your creativity outside your blog, yo.

Our session is one hour and 15 minutes, and gurl, we can fill that in a  snap. We got together here in L.A. a few weeks ago for two hours, and could’ve talked all day.

Yesterday, we spoke for over an hour on the phone, I can hardly stay on the phone with anybody that long, so that is high praise from me on her coolness. Not that she needs my approval.

For my part, I will be road tripping to San Jose with the fam, huzzband and child in tow.

Come say howdy to me if you’re there!

*And by the way, don’t worry about what you wear or how much you weigh, everyone is worried about something and no one really cares, not even if you have a giant boil on your face or 1,ooo zits or WHATEVER, I swear I’m worried about the exact same things and I will think you are just gorgeous and PERFECT, just the way you are!*

Love love love ya, and I mean it,

~ H

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Skinny Zucchini Cheese Pancakes!

skinny zucchini cheese pancakes

This recipe was inspired by my Mom, who made me some fancy, savory zucchini pancakes when I visited her recently in Louisiana.

However, I made up my own version, with less work and fewer calories, and they came out so delicious!

These are similar to potato pancakes or latkes, high protein, nutritious and lovely. Vegetarian, too.

A light meal or a filling, hearty snack.

Ingredients:

1.) One small zucchini, grated with a regular cheese grater- about one cup, grated.

2.) One whole large egg, lightly beaten.

3.) Two tablespoons bread crumbs, I used seasoned whole wheat bread crumbs by 4C brand.

4.) One ounce fat free feta cheese crumbles.

5.) One ounce shredded mozzarella cheese.

6.) Two tablespoons chopped green onion.

7.) Salt and pepper to taste, just a shake of each. I used garlic salt.

8.) One teaspoon of butter or olive oil. I used salted butter.

Directions:

Just wash and grate the zucchini. Put all ingredients in a bowl (beat the egg lightly first) and mix well.

Put the butter or oil in a large nonstick frying pan and heat over medium.

Spoon about one fourth cup of the mixture (4 pancakes total, you could do five or six smaller ones, if you prefer.)

Press down to make them thin and shape them as you like.

Brown lightly on both sides, flipping carefully with a spatula, until they’re cooked through.

Serve, maybe with a little nonfat or lowfat plain Greek yogurt or light sour cream!

My Mama served hers with sliced tomatoes on the side.

Calories: This whole batch, as pictured, is about 300 calories, or about 75 calories a pancake.

Weight Watcher’s Points: I calculate about 8 points for the whole batch. Maybe 9 at the most.

Yummy!

Enjoy and hop over and “Like” Skinny Mama Meals on Facebook for more recipes and weight loss inspiration.

XOXO-

~ Heidi

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Clothes Whores

lips flower

Yesterday, with no small amount of shame, I watched my bedroom dresser collapse, due to the massive weight of the amount of clothing piles I’ve tried to shove in its aching drawers.

Almost all of the drawers broke off of their hinges and ripped from the inner wood. So, yeah.

After calling a handyman to come this morning, I pullled all of my clothes from the drawers, so Jorge he could work on it without suffocating under the pile of my conspicuous material consumption.

I filled 6 giant black lawn bags with these items, then when Jorge left, I forced myself to pour it all out on the bed and with haste, I put it into new piles:

1.) Shit I never want to see again, things with bad memories and karma.

2.) Random crap like single long black satin gloves and tan fishnet stockings, that I thought I should save for 20 years just in case. Continue reading

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Posted in A Giggle, Fumbling Towards Ecstacy, Shame Attack | Leave a comment

Skinny Cucumber Feta Salsa Snack!

skinny cucumber feta salsa snack

Hello! This is one of my weird foods, an easy, no guilt, healthy, low calorie snack you can enjoy anytime.

Even late at night, right before bed when you (I) get the munchies.

I cut up one small, seedless cucumber and put it in a lil bowl with a lot of salsa, about four tablespoons.

I buy the mild kind of fresh salsa in the refrigerated section of the grocery store, and add hot sauce when I feel like having it spicier.

That way, I have options, man.

The jarred kind would work fine, too. I add about one ounce of fat free feta cheese crumbles, and sometimes I stop there.

Lately, though, my kiddo has been eating a lot organic corn tortilla chips with salsa.

They’re only 10 calories a chip, and I have about five chips in my snack. I don’t like the baked kind, too dry for me.

I crunch the chips all up and mix it around and eat it with a spoon!

Crunchy, high fiber, salty, tasty.

Calories: About 91 calories without the chips, only 141 with five chips.

I need all the tricks I can get, because Girl to Mom is a hearty eater. :-)

XOXO-

~ h

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Ovulation Pain

pink flower sky

Mittelschmerz: Pain with ovulation.

Hey, so this is something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago, and I want to share it here in case it can help anyone else out there.

I went to see a movie by myself during the day while Bex was at day camp, I walked to the theater with a little Earth bag of snacks that I had packed…

(Chunks of fresh pineapple and some “power wrap roll ups” of deli turkey and cheese with mayo/mustard or something in the middle. Sometimes it’s hummus or slices of avocado. But I digress…)

That and a small bottle of water. The water is key.

The movie I was seeing was “The Fault in Our Stars” which I also read in book form, I loved both the book by John Green and the movie.

The movie is devastating, though, because when you read the book, you read it in pieces. The movie comes at you all at once and public sobbing is difficult to avoid.

The two leads are wonderful, the whole cast is great.

Anyway, I was lightly schvitzing from the walk, and I thought that was why I felt weird/hot after sitting down.

No, I got a bizarre sensation inside, and pain. It moved around, burning in my abdomen and it also felt like it was wrapping around my heart, like I said it moved around, I thought, “Am I having a heart attack?”

What a strange way to die. Continue reading

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Posted in Health is Wealth, My Dark Places, Scary | Leave a comment

M&M Toes Pedicure

m&m toes

My sister Aloma brought along supplies on our family beach trip to North Carolina to give M&M Toes pedicures to my two precious lil nieces, Saffron and Isadora.

How cute it that?

The crocheted sandals without soles were hand knitted, totally adorable, if you ask me. Oh, Kermie…

m&m toes manicure

What is this other character? I think it’s Animal from The Muppets.

She just painted their toes individual bright colors, and when they dried…

m&m toes pedicure

She stuck tiny clear sticker decals of either M’s or their initials on their big toes.

Then, of course she gave them some M&M’s to enjoy with their fancy schmancy spa experience.

I think Aloma knows her audience, and this would be pretty cute on big girls, too. Fun!

XOXO-

~ h

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Skinny Watermelon Goat Cheese Salad!

skinny watermelon goat cheese salad

Oh my gosh this is fresh and summer scrumptious.

This is foodie food, sweet and salty at the same time. These flavors may not sound like they would all be good together, but oh my, they are.

You can wow them at the picnic with this one.

If any of the ingredients turn you off, though, simple, just leave that one or two out. It will still be yummy.

Ingredients: (Serves one hungry person as a light meal/large snack, two or more as a side dish- multiply for more folks.)

1.) One cup fresh watermelon chunks. 46 calories.

2.) One half cup grapes, I used organic red seedless grapes. 55 calories.

3.) One half cup tomatoes, I used organic sugarplum tomatoes and cut them in half after measuring. About 22 calories.

4.) One small seedless cucumber, chopped in bite sized pieces, I used an organic Persian seedless cucumber. 18 calories.

5.) One good slice or medallion of soft goat cheese, crumbled. About one ounce. 70 calories.

6.) A few slices of onion (or chop it), I used a yellow/brown onion, red onion would be a little sharper if you prefer it. 10-15 calories.

7.) Aged balsamic vinegar to taste. I used 2-3 teaspoons.

Red wine vinegar would be less sweet and add more bite, if you prefer.

8.) A drizzle of extra virgin olive oil, I used one teaspoon. 40 calories.

9.) Fresh mint leaves- optional. Basil would be good, if you prefer.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Just wash and chop the fruits and veggies, put in a bowl or on a plate and drizzle the dressing and seasonings. Toss or not and eat.

If I were to make this again, I may leave out the grapes- they made it sweeter, but the onion, which sounds odd, was actually wonderful and added a nice bite.

I drank the dressing/liquid at the bottom of the bowl, it was that good.

On Weight Watchers, all the fruit and veggies are zero points. The oil adds one point and the goat cheese is only 2, for three points total.

This is full of nutrition and delightful.

Calories: I estimated only about 200 or less for this big bowl.

Enjoy and hop over and “Like” Skinny Mama Meals on Facebook for more recipes and weight loss inspiration.

XOXO-

~ Heidi

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