Meet Heidi

Me as a little girl.

So hiya, I’m Heidi Ferrer, the woman who is attempting to become a real live grown up before my child does. If past performance is an indication of the future, it’s gonna take a looong time. Sigh. I sure do hope my son is patient with me.

Heidi Ferrer and Bex image

He’s currently three. It will probably take a few lifetimes and a village.

I’m a small town girl from Hays, Kansas and just outside New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Los Angeles. I’m deeply proud of my Midwestern roots, but a big part of me is a Southern Girl at heart.

I may have spent one too many sordid teenage nights in the French Quarter. There’s probably no more Bad Girl in me by now. Mercy.

I decided I’d work in Hollywood around age five, boldly announcing it to anyone who’d listen to a frizzy haired, mentally addled child. I packed up my trusty, rusty light blue Chevy Blazer one month after graduating high school and drove the 10 West Freeway alone out to La La Land to pursue my dreams.

I was, perhaps, a little bit dramatic, if not outright delusional.

Somehow, with my blind hope and clueless drive, I went from being a spazzy aspiring actress/pie waitress with no college education, to selling a romantic comedy screenplay to a major studio (Fox) and becoming a heavens-to-Betsy-she’s-a-professional writer.

Amidst a plethora of crazy screen and TV writing misadventures in L.A., I married my hunny Nick, my writer/director husband. We’ve had a modest bit of luck, getting to work with and write for some actual movie stars and pop culture icons:

Alec Baldwin! Nikki Reed! Jeff Goldblum! Luke Wilson! Kevin Spacey! Joel David Moore! Carrie-Anne Moss! Joel McCale! Katie Holmes! Joshua Jackson! Michelle Williams! And even…(drumroll)…Paris Hilton!

The movie with Paris Hilton was what you might politely call a box office turkey. It flopped so spectacularly, there were about five people in each theater on opening day, sitting in a crater of SCORCHED EARTH.

FIVE! If you were one of those five people, come on over here, I would like to give you a hug. The grosses were so low, they were printed in Time magazine, and John Stewart joked about it on Larry King Live. (It was originally a good script. I swear.)

I did not throw myself from a high place. Even though my Dad had killed himself by gunshot four months prior, while looking at a half-naked painting of my mother, a woman he had been divorced from for 20 years. Even though I lost my Dad right after I had gotten past some postpartum depression, following a bout with life threatening preeclampsia and an emergency C-section.

But there was also JOY amidst the ruins. Nick and I made a magical BABY, a son hatched four months before my Dad died. And between swimming with sharks in Hollywood and becoming first time dummy parents, which do you think is more thrilling and harrowing?

Boy hidee, you got THAT right!

Our son is Bexon Lighting, and we didn’t know when we gave him a Superhero name that he would turn out to be a Superhero. But that’s probably how God works.

My kiddo is the light of my life, he talks like Elmo, bounces like Tigger, has an artistic soul and also happens to have a rare, potentially fatal form of scoliosis. Bex’s story has led us down the most terrifying and beautiful journey we could never have imagined.

He’s getting the best treatment in the entire world for his condition, a lifesaving treatment we only found by GOOGLING on the Internet! I KNOW, right?

It is a miraculous series of unique plaster casts that are helping his spine grow straight.

Bex in green cast

Because we didn’t get the right medical advice in time, it will be a very long journey for my son and for our family. If you feel like it, check out the essay I wrote about it by clicking on “Bexon’s Story” at the top of the home page. You can also learn more at www.infantilescoliosis.org

That and many more Stranger Than Fiction life experiences produce more stories than I could ever fit into my screenplays, so I’ll be writing about those here in my “quote unquote” Heidi Ferrer website/Heidi Ferrer Blog: One Small Town Girls’ Wild Ride From Hollywood to Mommyhood.

With my heart on my sleeve, I’m a let-it-all-hang-out person, sometimes to a fault. I have very little shame, so I will likely humiliate myself a time or two. I’m desperately in search of spiritual enlightenment and a good hair day. Oh, and skin, can I have perfect skin forever and ever, amen?

I’m a girly GirlMom.I love my designer bags and jeans, but I LOVE a bargain! I heart Target and think Forever 21 should be re-named Forever 35. Just me? I also love talking about yummy, healthy food with lazy, easy recipes- who among us is not still trying to lose that last oh, 5 to 60 pounds of baby weight?

If you’re a little like me, we want to eat actual food and a LOT of it! We want to be skinny- or at least healthy and cute- but NOT bitches!

I don’t know where this is gonna lead, but I believe in the wonder and power of the Internet, because the Internet already saved my child’s spine and life. Oh, just that.

I also believe parenting is The Great Adventure, and admit with no small degree of shame that my Mommy Mistakes are manifold. Feel free to stop by anytime and hang. We are both tired and pretty and valiant and scared and imperfect and blessed. Maybe we can help each other become grown-ups together.

But let’s not rush into anything. I won’t tell our kids we’re hiding from them in the closet eating ice cream if you don’t.

Heidi Ferrer and Bex image

Heidi Ferrer

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39 Responses to Meet Heidi

  1. Tasha Fontenot says:

    Love it! I’ll be checking everyday.

  2. Heidi Ferrer says:

    Thank you for reading, Tasha!

  3. Louise says:

    Do you ever get a chance to watch Pushing up Daisies?

    Might bring out your inner pie girl :)

    Nice to meet you!

    Louise (32 yr old mother&wife)

  4. H. says:

    I love your blog, your story and your heart.

  5. Heidi Ferrer says:

    Nice to meet you too, Louise! Oh, I think I am definitely in touch with my inner pie girl!

    -Heidi

  6. Anne says:

    Hi Heidi. I just stumbled onto this blog. SO awesome to “meet” you. Looking forward to reading everything.

    Love, Anne
    (33, wife and mom of 2 drama queen girls)

  7. Sara Bock says:

    I finally got a chance to check it out! So sweet, thanks for sharing! -Sara (baby-sitter)

  8. Heidi Ferrer says:

    Hi Anne. So awesome to meet you, too.

    2 drama queen girls, you are in trouble! : ) Sounds like my house with 3 sisters growing up- and I have a Drama King boy, for sure. Thank you for finding me!

  9. Heidi Ferrer says:

    Thank you for visiting, Sara, hope to see you soon!

  10. Bonnie says:

    don’t grow up, you can’t undo it. childhood is underrated.

  11. I just found you through another couple of blogs – I kept clicking away, but I stopped and read your story. I was touched by your tenacity -especially with everything for your son. I’m glad he is doing so much better. Props for your googling skills!

    http://www.glasshousemarriage.wordpress.com

  12. Tiffani says:

    Hi Heidi!

    I love your blog and ‘trying to become a grown-up before my kid does’ is the story of my life! I am also from South Louisiana – a Cajun from Lafayette – so we may as well be sisters as far as I’m concerned. ;-)

    I’ll be keeping up with your posts-keep ‘em comin’!

  13. Hi Heidi – I got to your blog via The Bloggess. Wow – what an amazing story and incredible little boy. I have been reading your blog for a few weeks, but just read about your son’s journey. Blessings to you and your family and love your blog. :o)

    http://www.monica-adayinthelife.blogspot.com/

  14. Joy says:

    Hi Heidi,
    I came across your blog when I googled ‘holly golightly quotes’. What a wonderful post about Holly Golightly/Audrey Hepburn/(Marilyn Monroe). I was looking for a quote I could have engraved on my (maybe soon to purchase) iPad. I’ve always felt a kinship with Holly Golightly and totally related to what you wrote. (“I don’t want to go to India or Indonesia to find a Guru, I just want to sit down and watch Holly strum and sing a melancholy “Moon River” in her apartment windowsill.”) : )

    Thank you for sharing your story, especially of your incredible son (love his name!). I hope he is progressing well in his journey. You have a very free and open writing style that I love, like you are talking with a friend. I look forward to reading more here. BTW, I laughed out loud at this: “If you’re a little like me, we want to eat actual food and a LOT of it! We want to be skinny- or at least healthy and cute- but NOT bitches!”

    Have a great weekend! : )
    -Joy

  15. I’m a girly GirlMom.I love my designer bags and jeans, but I LOVE a bargain! I heart Target and think Forever 21 should be re-named Forever 35. Just me?

    No, not just you! I’m a Girlie-Girl too! And give me some bargains to fill my closet!

    http://www.hartsbeat.com

  16. A nice ray of sunshine. And what a shock, considering I was directed here from the bloggess. Who knew? Blessings from Nu Zillans.

    http://www.hogsatemysister.com

  17. AlexaGromko says:

    I just discovered you today. And I’m TICKLED!!! You’re already bookmarked. :)

    http://www.alexagromko.com

  18. Very cool stuff! Glad I found this site.

    http://www.twinklesandwinks.com

  19. Alexis says:

    I found you on the bloggess, your story is uplifting and I look forward to following along. I am not sure that we are every really grown up enough to be parents, but it sounds like your an amazing mama who is doing a damn good job!

    http://www.busymee.blogspot.com

  20. Michelle says:

    I found your blog via The Bloggess and am really excited to start being a regular reader! Nice to “meet” you, Heidi!

  21. Vic says:

    I started following you on twitter because you made me laugh and, like most guys, I am a sucker for boobs. Now that I’ve seen your blog and read about Bexon and Nick, I am deeply moved by your story and impressed by your strength. What a wonderful family. Best wishes for Bex’s health.
    You are so much more than your avatar.

  22. Angel says:

    Heidi-

    I recently discovered your page after researching your dad. I don’t know if you remember me but we grew up together in Hays and I spent a good deal of time with you and your sisters because of your dad.

    Your stories have been wonderful to read and I am glad you have found such happiness with your son and husband. I also have enjoyed reading about the “old” days back in Kansas and times with your father. I have fond memories of those days as well.

    With best regards-
    Angel

    • Heidi Ferrer says:

      Hi Angel, of course I remember you! I know my dad loved you. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit and read, I hope you’re well! When we went through his old photos albums, your pictures were in them, in his fond memories. Please stay in touch.

      Love, Heidi

  23. Naeemah says:

    Inspirational! Thank you! “Behind Fear, Lies Freedom”.. You’ve found your freedom.

  24. Alan Zaugg says:

    Heidi,

    I can’t believe I haven’t taken the time to do this yet. I could tell you this over Twitter, Facebook, or otherwise, but felt this an appropriate medium in which to do so.

    I can’t tell you how much respect I have for you. The mother that you are. Your blog. Your career. I have enjoyed our interactions, although brief, over social media. Thank you for that. I do consider you a friend.

    I love to write. I’m working on a novel. I occasionally do some sports writing. And sometimes I just write to write. I enjoy interacting with others who are passionate about life and dreams.

    I appreciate your example, your humor, your positive attitude. I hope someday to meet you. If that opportunity should ever present itself. But until then I continue to enjoy reading your blog and Twitter/Facebook updates.

    Thank you again.

    Alan

    http://jedizaugg.wordpress.com

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