So hiya, I’m Heidi Ferrer, the woman who is attempting to become a real live grown up before my child does. If past performance is an indication of the future, it’s gonna take a looong time. Sigh. I sure do hope my son is patient with me.
He’s currently three. It will probably take a few lifetimes and a village.
I’m a small town girl from Hays, Kansas and just outside New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Los Angeles. I’m deeply proud of my Midwestern roots, but a big part of me is a Southern Girl at heart.
I may have spent one too many sordid teenage nights in the French Quarter. There’s probably no more Bad Girl in me by now. Mercy.
I decided I’d work in Hollywood around age five, boldly announcing it to anyone who’d listen to a frizzy haired, mentally addled child. I packed up my trusty, rusty light blue Chevy Blazer one month after graduating high school and drove the 10 West Freeway alone out to La La Land to pursue my dreams.
I was, perhaps, a little bit dramatic, if not outright delusional.
Somehow, with my blind hope and clueless drive, I went from being a spazzy aspiring actress/pie waitress with no college education, to selling a romantic comedy screenplay to a major studio (Fox) and becoming a heavens-to-Betsy-she’s-a-professional writer.
Amidst a plethora of crazy screen and TV writing misadventures in L.A., I married my hunny Nick, my writer/director husband. We’ve had a modest bit of luck, getting to work with and write for some actual movie stars and pop culture icons:
Alec Baldwin! Nikki Reed! Jeff Goldblum! Luke Wilson! Kevin Spacey! Joel David Moore! Carrie-Anne Moss! Joel McCale! Katie Holmes! Joshua Jackson! Michelle Williams! And even…(drumroll)…Paris Hilton!
The movie with Paris Hilton was what you might politely call a box office turkey. It flopped so spectacularly, there were about five people in each theater on opening day, sitting in a crater of SCORCHED EARTH.
FIVE! If you were one of those five people, come on over here, I would like to give you a hug. The grosses were so low, they were printed in Time magazine, and John Stewart joked about it on Larry King Live. (It was originally a good script. I swear.)
I did not throw myself from a high place. Even though my Dad had killed himself by gunshot four months prior, while looking at a half-naked painting of my mother, a woman he had been divorced from for 20 years. Even though I lost my Dad right after I had gotten past some postpartum depression, following a bout with life threatening preeclampsia and an emergency C-section.
But there was also JOY amidst the ruins. Nick and I made a magical BABY, a son hatched four months before my Dad died. And between swimming with sharks in Hollywood and becoming first time dummy parents, which do you think is more thrilling and harrowing?
Boy hidee, you got THAT right!
Our son is Bexon Lighting, and we didn’t know when we gave him a Superhero name that he would turn out to be a Superhero. But that’s probably how God works.
My kiddo is the light of my life, he talks like Elmo, bounces like Tigger, has an artistic soul and also happens to have a rare, potentially fatal form of scoliosis. Bex’s story has led us down the most terrifying and beautiful journey we could never have imagined.
He’s getting the best treatment in the entire world for his condition, a lifesaving treatment we only found by GOOGLING on the Internet! I KNOW, right?
It is a miraculous series of unique plaster casts that are helping his spine grow straight.
Because we didn’t get the right medical advice in time, it will be a very long journey for my son and for our family. If you feel like it, check out the essay I wrote about it by clicking on “Bexon’s Story” at the top of the home page. You can also learn more at www.infantilescoliosis.org
That and many more Stranger Than Fiction life experiences produce more stories than I could ever fit into my screenplays, so I’ll be writing about those here in my “quote unquote” Heidi Ferrer website/Heidi Ferrer Blog: One Small Town Girls’ Wild Ride From Hollywood to Mommyhood.
With my heart on my sleeve, I’m a let-it-all-hang-out person, sometimes to a fault. I have very little shame, so I will likely humiliate myself a time or two. I’m desperately in search of spiritual enlightenment and a good hair day. Oh, and skin, can I have perfect skin forever and ever, amen?
I’m a girly GirlMom.I love my designer bags and jeans, but I LOVE a bargain! I heart Target and think Forever 21 should be re-named Forever 35. Just me? I also love talking about yummy, healthy food with lazy, easy recipes- who among us is not still trying to lose that last oh, 5 to 60 pounds of baby weight?
If you’re a little like me, we want to eat actual food and a LOT of it! We want to be skinny- or at least healthy and cute- but NOT bitches!
I don’t know where this is gonna lead, but I believe in the wonder and power of the Internet, because the Internet already saved my child’s spine and life. Oh, just that.
I also believe parenting is The Great Adventure, and admit with no small degree of shame that my Mommy Mistakes are manifold. Feel free to stop by anytime and hang. We are both tired and pretty and valiant and scared and imperfect and blessed. Maybe we can help each other become grown-ups together.
But let’s not rush into anything. I won’t tell our kids we’re hiding from them in the closet eating ice cream if you don’t.