Who could hurt this angel?
I’m in Mommy Tiger mode, y’all, GRRRR!
My precious angel Bexon is being bullied at school in only his second week of Kindergarten. *sniff*
Two days ago, he came home from school with a laceration, a pretty bad small cut on his side that had a band aid over it.
I didn’t freak out, stuff happens and kids fall down when they’re playing. Boys will be boys and all that. But he did say that a boy I’ll call “M” pushed him down.
Ok, I said, accidents happen. But the next day, yesterday, I made sure to ask some questions after school. I put my boy on my lap and casually said “We’re going to play a question game, okay?”
“Okay,” he said. I asked “What was the best part of your day today at school? He replied “The volcano.”
I said “Oh, did you make a volcano?”
“Yes.”
“Did it explode?”
“Yes, it did.”
“That’s so cool!” I exclaimed, “Ok, then what was the worst part of your day at school today?”
“The pushing,” he frowned.
Crap! “Did the same boy push you, was it “M”?” I asked.
“Yes, “M and O.”
So it was TWO boys ganging up on him now! WTH? I told my husband, who said he knew M’s father from the golf course. He called him and the father said he would talk to his son about it immediately.
A few minutes later, M’s dad called back, saying M is not even in Bex’s class this year. It turns out there is another boy with the same first name who is the alleged culprit! Ack! My husband apologized, so embarrassing!
I asked Bex if it was a different M than the one he went to preschool with, he said yes, a different one. That sorted out, we realized we didn’t know this kid’s family, so we emailed the teacher to alert her.
She said all the right things and that she would talk to the boys today, Bex said it happened at recess near the basketball hoop.
I told Bex that pushing is against the rules in basketball. I actually cried over this last night, I can’t stand the thought of my baby being hurt and not being there to help him, I was emotionally bullied in school and it damaged my self esteem big time. I think it contributed to my drinking problem, I really do.
Another mom friend told me that she tells her son to say “I don’t like that” and look the other kid in the eye. If that fails, she tells him to say “Get a life!”
So now I wait to see what happens today…Mommy guns blazing, man.
Don’t mess with Texas and don’t mess with my kid.
xoxo-
~ Heidi
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Oh man last year my son was in Kindergarten and one day they had skate day. So I decided to take my son and help the other munchkins since I have been skating since I was 4 and I was pretty sure the other mom’s had no clue how to skate (which I was totally right) but anyways they all took off their skates and started to run around the skating rink – I noticed one boy go up to my son and push him over with his shoe. I bit my tongue until I saw the boy go up to my son again and slap him in the face and call him a dumb dumb. I about lost it on that boy but instead I went to his teacher and told her she needs to have a talk with that boy quickly. She did and all was forgotten until this Summer when my son had his birthday party and told me he wanted to invite a boy named “G”, I told him okay and spoke with his mother – they showed up and I about freaked out when I realized that is the same kid who was a big bully to my baby. The mother was amazing so I didn’t say anything to her about that day but I did notice both her kids were spoiled brats. I felt horrible when I did the happy dance when I found out that kid will not be in his class this year. lol we told our son if someone is mean to say “shut the front door”
You have more strength than I think I do, I would’ve wanted to walk right up to the kids who pushed and slapped him. Good for you.
If he came home with a bandage, then someone had put it on him, and there should have been a written incident report for you if not at least a verbal by the teacher telling you he had been hurt. I taught for several years, and worked with preschool kids for many more. I would be more than a bit livid that you had to sit and ask Bex what had happened to him. They should have looked in to it as soon as they saw the injury. This sort of thing chaps my hide. I hope the bullies that did at get at least a talking to. This needs to be stopped before people live their whole lives as bullies. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of it.
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That’s a great point and one that I didn’t think of. The cut didn’t need stitches or anything, but it was a butterfly type band aid they used- not the normal kind, it was bad enough to warrant that. I’m going to keep that in mind, especially if it happens again- I wonder if there is a school policy on this.
NO! This is by far one of my worst mommy fears!
Poor Bex. I wish I knew something to say, but I don’t. I hate bullying. I was bullied. It destroyed me. I hope these kids listen when their teacher talks and that they don’t bother him anymore! I’ll be praying and thinking of you guys!
Sending my love and good thoughts.
http://www.sober_mom.livejournal.com
Me, too, I think we are gonna put him in martial arts soon- he’s gonna be a skinny guy for a long time and he should have some back up confidence if it happens again.
I think you are doing the right thing. The more calm you are, the more likely people will listen because they’ll have no reason to believe that you are a helicopter mom who panics over everything. Remember to document EVERYTHING. The dates when things happened, what Bex said, what kind of response you are getting. God forbid it should come to anything more than the school’s conversation with the kids and/or their parents. Just be prepared. As for the martial arts thing…I highly recommend Kung Fu. Many of the styles are defensive. Not that it can’t be used for offense but a lot of it is about learning to read your opponent and deflecting their attacks or using their own agression against them. It is incredibly useful when there is a disparity in size. I take Seven Star Praying Mantis and love it, but there are a lot of other styles out there. It has come in handy more than once.
Cool, thank you! We’re looking into getting him into a class, possibly as soon as tomorrow.
This is very upsetting. I hope the teacher steps in and watches the kids better!
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You have a great idea about putting him in martial arts! Wish I had that growing up… I had to deal with years of bullying, too.
I’m so sorry that you went through that!
There *should* be a school policy and you should definitely stay in touch with the teacher about it. I found our school’s policy on their website. In fact, it should be district-wide, so if it’s not on the school site, it should be on the district site. One of my kids was bullied and it was tough, but we stayed in touch with the teacher and eventually the principal and everything turned out well. The policy even offered some tactics on how to help your kid respond to a bully, and how to report incidents. Sounds like you’re already doing a great job, and it’s great that your little guy will talk to you about it.
Of course, before you go all mommy-bear and attack someone else’s 5 yr-old (I know, I’ve felt the same way…), it’s good to note that all of these babies are adjusting. The first 6 weeks of teaching kindergarten is hell for everyone – it’s a big adjustment for the kids, and the teachers have to spend considerable amounts of time just teaching 20 or so 5-yr-olds how to stand in a line, put away a folder, get to the lunch room, etc. Not to mention tying shoes, dealing with potty issues (there’s always one), etc., etc.
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You’re absolutely right. They are certainly all almost still babies and it’s possible the kid thought he was just playing big boy rough, or has a new baby sister at home and is going through a tough time, etc.
Bex went from a great preschool with a very high teacher to student ratio his first year, (4 students to 1 teacher!)- Then last year he had a bigger class with less teachers to go around- both were great schools, but I think if he had not had the experience last year with 20 kids and one or two teachers, the adjustment would’ve been very hard for him this year. These teachers really do a wonderful job and should be applauded. I promise I won’t go with my first instinct and march up to any kids
That was going to be my question: who put the bandaid there? Did they ask what happened?
As a school nurse, I would have asked what happened, and tried to gauge whether the injured child was trying to hide that someone hurt him. Especially as a kindergartener, I would have called home, just to notify. Or at least a little note to give to a parent. There are different ways to handle it. But doing nothing as a school employee is not one of them.
I agree!
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