Hey! I’m ridonkulously excited about the year 2013 ahead. That’s like ridiculously with a donkey in the middle of it.
Alright, to recap, last year at this time on this very day I was in rehab. So things can only look up!
I used to make a long-ish list of New Year’s Resolutions. Then I became cynical and bitter that I never usually accomplished them and decided to give up on it. My New Year’s Resolutions pretty much became something like “drink less, lose weight, stop binge eating, do better.”
Do better is actually not a bad resolution, if you think about it. Do better than yesterday, do better than last year: just do better, man.
Here are my Top Three New Year’s Resolutions for 2013:
1.) Try to live up to my full potential. This includes as a mother, in relationships, as a human being, in career and in my own head. Mind/Body/Spirit, baby!
I have a really good chance of achieving this because I’m sober. I have an excellent chance of achieving this as long as I don’t drink alcohol or become like, a meth addict. Because at the end, alcohol was keeping me from fully being the best version of Heidi, the soul and spirit inside of me, and it was hurting my body and self esteem.
I feel like I ‘m getting my personal positive power back and I love this feeling. It’s addictive!
2.) Help others in whatever way I can. One thing I’d like to do is to help other people struggling with alcoholism. If you are one of those people you can email me at GirltoMom@gmail.com if you want to talk. I can share some of my experience with early recovery with you. I’m also writing a book about it that will be available soon.
I also care deeply about spreading the word about Infantile Scoliosis awareness and the cure and honoring the children of Newtown and Aurora and Trayvon Martin by having my voice heard about reducing gun violence in America. We should be able to go to school and buy Skittles and wear hoodies without being shot.
I care about gay rights and women’s rights and well, basically human rights, ya know?
Lately, there has also been a lot in the news about rape, especially regarding the terrible tragedy in India of the death of a young female gang rape victim (I’m so proud of the people of India for their demonstrations and protests, it gives me hope for humanity).
I’ve also been following two stories here in the U.S. about two young women, one only 16 years old, who in two separate incidents were both gang raped while passed out drunk. After both crimes, many people tried to silence these women from talking publicly about the rapists and one whole town seemingly tried to shame the victim, including on social media like Twitter (saying things like “some people deserve to be peed on,” “who are you” to stand up to our precious football team, etc…)
These young women had photos taken of them while they were being assaulted that were posted online by the rapists and some bystanders who mocked her. Unbelievable. One of the women was told by the court she couldn’t ever publicly say the names of her rapists. She did and was almost put in jail for tweeting their names. This is in America. I’m not kidding.
I key into these stories passionately because I know something like this could’ve happened to me, as a former black out drinker who has passed out in public before. I’ve never been forcibly raped, but this could’ve been me, I am these girls.
The online justice group of hackers called Anonymous has stepped in on at least one of these cases in the football town and demanded a public apology for the girl whose body was carried from party to party while she was (allegedly) repeatedly violated in front of people for “fun.” You wouldn’t even treat an animal that way, hopefully not.
Anonymous hacked into the town’s beloved high school football team’s website (the rapists were football players) and threatened to reveal the personal info of those involved online if they don’t publicly apologize to her and her family by tomorrow. I f**king LOVE Anonymous! They are knights in shining armor in the Internet age. Awesome.
Anyway, I don’t mean to be depressing, I actually feel empowered that I can teach my own son and his friends when they get older to never treat women like that (obviously,) but also NEVER to stand by silently and let others commit this kind of crime. One thing that is so shocking about the football town story is that there were many witnesses at these parties who did nothing. Maybe they were scared, but still: call the police.
I don’t have a daughter, but if I did, I would teach her that drinking too much can put your body in a dangerous and even fatal position, and passing out drunk truly takes all of your personal power away and can allow anyone to do anything to you.
For those of you who drink, it’s of course okay for most people, have fun, just please don’t drink and drive tonight and be safe!
The beauty of the Internet is that while people can use it for bad, it can also be used for so much good. I love the new online petitions that go around for causes and signing them really does make a difference, even in just showing sheer numbers of good people who support a just outcome. Numbers add up, man, and even the White House has to pay attention the the voice of the people.
And I should add that I want to lose weight, getting my body into the healthiest condition it’s ever been in by this Summer. I want to take bikini pictures and feel beach joy with my little boy. That will be a happy day.
So I guess I can sum up my goals by saying I want to be a good person and fail better than ever before. I know I won’t be flawless, I just want to do my best. Your best is good enough.
And I want to have fun and be happy and joyful and dance. I’ve made it through the rain of years of my son’s illness, my father’s suicide five years ago, career disaster, and personal struggles that almost took me out: depression, grief, PTSD, addiction. These are big ffffing deals and I’m still here, baby!
What didn’t kill me made me stronger and it also made me grateful for this moment.
Bring it, 2013. My heart is full and my arms are open wide.
P.S. My new web series talk show called Mother Bloggers premieres tomorrow!!! You can watch it online any time tomorrow, January 1st and after - even if you wake up super early. I think it will be posted at midnight NY’s Eve.
It’s a fun talk show with all bloggers who also happen to be moms about parenting and women’s topics and issues- we’re just getting our feet wet with the first episode and it’s gonna be a lot of fun! The other women are super cool, as you’ll see.
Here is the link: First Run TV Network
It’ll be on the main menu, on channel 7. You can also watch it on your TV if you have a Roku streaming box.
Thank you for sharing some of your time with me this year, I love you and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!