We’ve all heard of Match.com, eHarmony and even J Date and Christian Mingle, but did you know there are dating websites for just about anything? I mean anything. The Internet is cray, y’all.
Here are 10 Crazy Dating Websites I’ve heard of lately:
1.) WomenBehindBars.com: Yes, for dudes who want to meet and date incarcerated women in prison. Because they are probably not dangerous or crazy at all, guys. Solid plan!
Her release date is probably soon. I’m sure she won’t do what she did to her last boyfriend or husband ever, ever again. She’s stable, now, fo sho.
2.) MissTravel.com: For so called “Generous” people (probably mostly men) who are willing to pay for the travel of “attractive” people.
In other words, for them to pay for your travel on to their penis, probably. They’re called hookers. High class hookers, crossing state lines and into other countries, perhaps, but the dude is still expecting you to be grateful. Buy your own ticket, girls.
3.) Pounced.org: Dating for furries!
If you don’t know what furries are, they’re um, adult people who like to dress up as giant furry animals together, and err…get busy in the costumes.
Like Thumper and Tigger in heat.
Okayyyy…moving on!
4.) CrazyBlindDate.com: You guessed it, no profile photos- blind dating through the Internet. In case you’d like to be ax murdered by a faceless stranger tonight.
No thankee!
5.) NoLongerLonely.com: This one sounds sweet, it’s for people with mental illness to meet each other. I thought that was called Twitter- *hee*
But seriously, should two people who both have mental illness get married? Maybe there should be one normal person to balance the Bipolar one out? Asking for myself.
6.) Purrsonals.com: A cat lover’s social network. I thought that was called THE ENTIRE INTERNET! Because of all of the funny cat comics and memes. Like Grumpy Cat. Duh.
Cats make me happy, I’m one of the feline loh-vahs. Sort of. But I’m not a crazy cat lady (yet). But give me time…
7.) Diapermates.com: For adults who like or have to wear diapers.
It’s a fetish. Wow. Just wow. Don’t stick your finger down the back of it to check if it’s wet. That’s a little tip for you from a mother. You’re welcome.
8.) SisterWives.us: “Find a loving SisterWife today!” There’s a website for married couples seeking more wives to join them.
I can’t believe this has gone that mainstream. I’d scratch that bitches’ eyes out if she tried to touch my man, fuggedabouitit.
9.) FindYourFaceMate.com: Have you ever noticed couples who fall in love with someone who kind of looks like them? This website uses facial recognition software to help match people who look similar to each other.
This sounds like a dream situation for narcissists. Maybe they can just marry themselves in the mirror.
10.) NaturistPassion.com: Dating site for serious nudists. They should band together against our oppressive material culture. Get it, material- har- clothing? Sorry.
There are also dating websites for devoted pot smokers (420Dating.com), sea captains (SeaCaptainDate.com), kids wanting to find a match for their parents (MyLovelyParent.com)…
…Older/younger love (AgeMatch.com), cougars (CougarLife.com), Goths (GothicMatch.com), people with STDs (like that’s the first thing you want people to know about you? Yikes)…and many more.
It’s a wild and wacky new world in the Wild West of Internet love. Be careful out there, kids.
I’m scared. Hold me.
XOXO-
~ Heidi
P.S. Girl to Mom has almost reached 2,000 “likes” on Facebook! Thank you so much, and if you’d be awesome and help me out with just 2 little more likes to put us over the top, go to the FB page by clicking here.
Hysterical!!!