Grateful and Energized

Newtown Memorial

I lit these candles last night in my back yard in Los Angeles as a small memorial to Newtown. It made me feel just a tiny bit better, I was so sad yesterday…

I have some survivor guilt, that those families lost their children right before Christmas and that my child is alive. I’m so very lucky he hasn’t heard what happened and I pray he keeps his innocence.

On a positive note, though, I don’t know how many of you remember, but I was in rehab this time last year. What a difference a year makes. It’s a miracle I haven’t had a drink over this event. The holidays alone are a hard time for a lot of people. We can do it, man.

This is my second year of celebrating the holidays sober. Well, the actual holiday days themselves, last year I did not drink on Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Day, but granted for Christmas and New Year’s I was kinda locked up (in a very nice house in Malibu, but still, house arrest).

heidi ferrer sunset

One thing about being in recovery that is such a gift is that I have a large community of awesome support. I’m lucky because I’ve had other sober friends, people on a spiritual path, to talk to every day this week and process my feelings.

You may have noticed I have very strong emotions about the tragic loss of children and adults in Newtown and this morning the NRA came out and had a batshit crazy news conference about putting guns in schools as their “solution”. Well, my five year old precious little boy’s elementary school is surrounded by a chain link fence.

You could have armed guards at the gates and a madman could still take multiple lives by simply shooting through the fence. Does the NRA plan to pay to create high stone castle walls around every school in America?

I think people are much smarter than that. If anything, I should probably say thank you to the NRA for being so off the rails that it helps to mobilize the good people who might have been undecided about gun control. Thank you NRA for showing who you are, and as a mother, the NRA (not the individual members, but the entity as a whole) is now my enemy.

I also want to say thank you to the NRA for helping to keep me sober because I need to have full clarity so I can be of service to the legacy of those children and honor them.

So thank you so much for helping to save my life. In gratitude, I made this poster for you:

NRA images













All I can say is, I wouldn’t want to be in a fight with sober me. That bitch is tough and she’s gonna live forever.

heidi ferrerKisses,

~ Heidi

This entry was posted in A Very Worthy Cause, Fumbling Towards Ecstacy, Sober Girl. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Grateful and Energized

  1. Angie says:

    I’ve been reading your blog fairly regularly for over a year now. I remember seeing the progress you were making with rehab and being so happy for you. It truly is a day to day struggle but you are such an inspiration to me!! Stay strong over the holidays and have a very Merry Christmas with your family :)

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