My husband’s therapist has suggested I might be Bipolar 2. It way less severe than Bipolar 1, which Carrie Fisher has, Bipolar 2 is the one Catherine Zeta Jones has.
This has come up before when I was diagnosed and given my current meds, but I have never been officially diagnosed with it.
It doesn’t usually involve mania or really nutty behavior, it’s more like cycles that include some weird high moods and then depression. I’ve never felt totally normal so I really don’t know, but I do have mood swings and I’m currently taking an anti-depressant, which most of the time I feel pretty great on if the rest of my life is in balance.
I don’t feel numb at all, I have my feelings and can cry, have normal sex relations, etc… (some people become, err, impotent on those types of meds, which for a woman I guess means no O!)…Anyway, I have feelings, they are just mostly good feelings.
I’m willing to go talk to a new therapist about it to look into it before making any decisions. One thing is that I have gained at least 10 pounds since I started taking the current anti-depressant last Spring. If I’m taking the wrong medication and I don’t need those extra ten pounds, why hang on to them, ya know?
The other thing is that while I feel pretty great, I can be delicate. I can easily get thrown out of balance by monthly hormones, a virus, etc…I think Nick is worried that with my early newbie sobriety, me potentially being on the wrong meds could throw me off course.
He could be right and now that the issue has been raised again, (Nick took some of my weirder blogs and my Twitter feed to his therapist! Ahhh!)- now that the issue has been raised, my gut instinct is telling me to not investigate it could mean I could stay on the wrong meds for 10, 20 years. I’m not a person who believes in suffering if there’s a safe solution.
Lastly, though, I’m worried about med adjustment periods. I know people who’ve had a really hard time going off anti-depressants and just cried all the time.
Now there is your daily dose of Heidi’s crazier than me! You’re welcome.
I just want to lie down in a giant room filled with Barbies and Disney Princesses and eat mac n’ cheese. I feel better today, though, things are definitely looking up.