Keep Your Irish Devil Liquor Away From Me

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Don’t forget to wear green on your underwear or I’ll pinch your butt.

Yesterday Bexon’s school had their annual Agriculture Appreciation Day and the kids were supposed to dress like farmers. The rumor was that a single cow was on its way for petting.

It rained yesterday morning (and today) and so the cow was stuck on the 405 Freeway. We dressed Bex up in my oversized straw cowboy hat, a plaid country looking shirt and jeans. The hat kept falling over his eyes, although he insisted on wearing it the whole school day.

I adore that he loves costumes. He commits!

One of the best reasons to have kids at all is to dress them up in costumes. Delicious.

So the cow wasn’t there as promised when we arrived in the AM, but apparently made a visit later, along with some goats and sheep and ratty looking chickens. Nick and I were saying that poor cow is gonna need therapy after being molested by 400 children- heh.

I had a couple of days this week where I felt funky and uncomfortable in my skin. Possibly hormones? I thought about drinking a lot on those days, it was frustrating. My old voice was saying, “We drink when we feel like this!!!”

I’m on Day 34 today and am so glad I’m didn’t give in to those feelings. It passes, ya know?

I’m working on a book about my 28 year “drinking career” and recovery so far. It brings up a lot of emotions and it also reminds me of the fun times. I suppose it makes me romanticize the good times with my old, abusive loh-vah a bit.

Last night I said to Nick that the whole idea of never drinking again FOREVER is overwhelming at times. He gently reminded me that I was unconscious in a mall the last time I drank just 30 some days ago.

That my body was totally at the mercy of the kindness of strangers and it could’ve gone the other way, someone evil could’ve taken me.

Ahh. Oh. Yeah. It’s amazing how fast we forget.

On the upside, I feel awesome today and in no danger of being lured into this crazy Irish drinking holiday! No green beer for this Mommy.

On the cake and ice cream diet front, I know I haven’t updated my daily food diary, UGH! Sorry if anyone is actually following it. I’ve had a little too much cake and ice cream this week. Yesterday I ate a whole mini frosted chocolate cake my myself. Yum.

The other thing is that I began eating a lot of salty foods (like turkey jerky and soy sauce on veggies) and I can’t tell how much is water weight and what is real weight.

I promise I am not giving up, man! My baby sister Sierra is coming to visit in one month and I get to finally meet my precious new baby niece, Saffron. Yay! I can’t wait, but my sober sister (Sierra has 4 years sober) likes to eat, ya’ll, so I better get my butt on track before she gets here.

Hope the luck o’ the Irish finds you today.

Love,

~ Heidi