Keep Your Irish Devil Liquor Away From Me

St. Patrick's Day child

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Don’t forget to wear green on your underwear or I’ll pinch your butt.

Yesterday Bexon’s school had their annual Agriculture Appreciation Day and the kids were supposed to dress like farmers. The rumor was that a single cow was on its way for petting.

Bex rain cowboy

It rained yesterday morning (and today) and so the cow was stuck on the 405 Freeway. We dressed Bex up in my oversized straw cowboy hat, a plaid country looking shirt and jeans. The hat kept falling over his eyes, although he insisted on wearing it the whole school day.

I adore that he loves costumes. He commits!

bex green hat tree

One of the best reasons to have kids at all is to dress them up in costumes. Delicious.

So the cow wasn’t there as promised when we arrived in the AM, but apparently made a visit later, along with some goats and sheep and ratty looking chickens. Nick and I were saying that poor cow is gonna need therapy after being molested by 400 children- heh.

I had a couple of days this week where I felt funky and uncomfortable in my skin. Possibly hormones? I thought about drinking a lot on those days, it was frustrating. My old voice was saying, “We drink when we feel like this!!!”

I’m on Day 34 today and am so glad I’m didn’t give in to those feelings. It passes, ya know?

I’m working on a book about my 28 year “drinking career” and recovery so far. It brings up a lot of emotions and it also reminds me of the fun times. I suppose it makes me romanticize the good times with my old, abusive loh-vah a bit.

Last night I said to Nick that the whole idea of never drinking again FOREVER is overwhelming at times. He gently reminded me that I was unconscious in a mall the last time I drank just 30 some days ago.

That my body was totally at the mercy of the kindness of strangers and it could’ve gone the other way, someone evil could’ve taken me.

Ahh. Oh. Yeah. It’s amazing how fast we forget.

Irish child

On the upside, I feel awesome today and in no danger of being lured into this crazy Irish drinking holiday! No green beer for this Mommy.

On the cake and ice cream diet front, I know I haven’t updated my daily food diary, UGH! Sorry if anyone is actually following it. I’ve had a little too much cake and ice cream this week. Yesterday I ate a whole mini frosted chocolate cake my myself. Yum.

The other thing is that I began eating a lot of salty foods (like turkey jerky and soy sauce on veggies) and I can’t tell how much is water weight and what is real weight.

I promise I am not giving up, man! My baby sister Sierra is coming to visit in one month and I get to finally meet my precious new baby niece, Saffron. Yay! I can’t wait, but my sober sister (Sierra has 4 years sober) likes to eat, ya’ll, so I better get my butt on track before she gets here.

st patricks day hatHope the luck o’ the Irish finds you today.


~ Heidi

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9 Responses to Keep Your Irish Devil Liquor Away From Me

  1. Meg says:

    I know we don’t really know each other – but I am sooo proud of you for not giving into those feelings and thoughts. You give me inspiration! I hope you have a happy (and luck filled) St. Patty’s Day!

  2. nikkiana says:

    Bex is too adorable! I love that picture of him looking down from the tree.

  3. Melanie says:

    Yay for not giving in! My first 90 days were rough. I didn’t go one day where I didn’t want a drink really bad.

    I gave up all care of what I ate for the first six months after I quit drinking. Being sober to me had to take priority. Trying to diet AND get sober is way too hard I think. Obviously do whatever you want, but don’t feel like a failure if the weight loss has to take the back road. It’ll always be there to go back to once you have more of a handle on the not drinking gig. :)

  4. Yay for writing! So happy to hear that you’re working on a book! Can’t wait to read it when it gets picked up by a big publisher!!!

  5. weezafish says:

    Well done for not giving in, awesome stuff. Love the pics too, Happy St Paddys to you lady.

  6. Candice G says:

    We had green eggs and ham instead of beer and it was awesome!

    We then continued with lots of Dr. Seuss Stories and Hudson pretty much had the most amazing St Pattys day ever!

    Much love!
    Congrats for making it through another glorified drinking day and NOT drinking!

    GO YOU! wooooo
    (I’m your own personal cheering section)

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