I was listening to a lovely woman speak recently about her inspiring life story, which included a harrowing childhood of a group of kids living in a garage, almost raising themselves and getting into alcohol and drugs along the way.
This young woman was plucked as a teenager to live with an older wealthy man, she was too young and inexperienced to realize that she was an underage “kept woman” and the whole situation was very, very wrong. Not to mention illegal. She thought he loved her and was taking care of her.
She went on to later marry another man and have his child, but that situation turned out to be unhealthy, too, and she got out and is now a single mother, free of alcohol and drugs and of being controlled by men who didn’t have her best interests at heart.
She told her story very softly and with great dignity, and then explained how she lives her life now, saying how she takes gentle care of herself:
“I eat when I’m hungry.” she said.
“When I’m tired, I sleep.”
“I pee when I have to pee.”
We listening to her story and laughed at the pee line, but her simple words have stayed with me. How many times, as adults, do we not treat ourselves and our own health and well being as simply and as well as we would our own child?
Last week I was sick with a flu virus and today glory day I feel 100% better (yay), but the unpleasant experience reminded me of similar good advice I’ve heard before, that when you’re going through difficult times, to love yourself like you were your own child.
If your child is sick, you let them rest. If your child needs to see a doctor, you take them to the doctor. I, for example, am overdue to see the dentist, but I sure did get my son there on time for his appointment last month, didn’t I?
If your baby’s skin is irritated, you gently give them lotion or cream. If they need a bath, you give them one. When they are hungry, you feed them. And so on…
The simple things, we even put off the simple things that will make us feel better in the moment day to day, and that can gradually throw us off balance. Low blood sugar, itchy or greasy hair, still in the pjs we slept in…eating some nasty fried thing when we need something nutritious like soup for our body to feel good…
And hey, as a consenting adult, also have sex when you need to have sex. I mean, I do, this blog is not G rated so we can be real, here. In my opinion, married sex put off for too long can make you feel more distant from each other and that lack of closeness begins to affect other areas.
Now if you both have the flu, then eww, but you know what I mean.
Also, don’t say unkind words to yourself in your head that you wouldn’t tell your child. That’s a good one for me to remember, I think terrible, depressing thoughts about myself when I feel low and fabulous thoughts about me when I’m happy.
I hope this simple message finds you well today and also that I can remember my own advice the next time I need it.
Maybe a tattoo across my forehead…
Oh no, that one should say “Do not mix with alcohol.”