Conversations With My Five Year Old

Hey! Here are some recent amusing conversations with my five year old boy:

#1:)

Bexon: God made all the people alive, right?

Me: Yes.

Bex: God made all the good guys, but not the bad guys, right?

Me: …

Bex: ?

Me: Um, no, God made everybody, but he didn’t make the bad guys bad, He made everybody good, the bad guys turned bad later. (Tough one, yikes.)

#2:)

Bex: (Coming out of the bathroom into the living room, carrying a small cup full of liquid): I made an orange potion!

Me: What’s in it?

Bex: It’s for bad guys. It has pear peach juice, soap and tin foil.

Me: Oh good, that’ll take any bad guy out. (Especially the tin foil.)

(Did you mix up potions in the bathroom when you were a kid? I did all of the time, I loved making my own “shampoo,” which usually turned dark blue, purple or brown and was disgusting. My mom did not appreciate me wasting costly grooming products for my concoctions.)

#3:)

Bex: (sitting on the potty) My butt is in trouble.

Me: Why?

Bex: My butt is empty of poop, but my penis did a good job (peeing). GOOD JOB, PENIS!

#4:)

We’re reading The Big Book of Berenstain Bear Beginner Books, a Christmas gift to Bex from my little sister Aunt Sierra, it’s great for early readers and nostalgic for me.

In one of the stories, the silly bear Dad is “teaching” his small bear son how to ride a bike, but the Dad keeps getting himself in a pickle and wrecking the bike.

He’s kind of like an earlier version of the dad in the TV show “Modern Family”- good intentions, but funny clueless.

Bex: (laughing) The Bear Dad makes so many mistakes!

Me: (teasing) Yeah, is that like your Dad?

Bex: (serious) No. My Dad doesn’t make any mistakes, he makes no mistakes, he’s the goodest guy I ever seen.

Awww. Not true that his Dad make no mistakes, but awww.

XO- H