If you’re like me you may have a boyfriend or a husband who has yet to think of making plans for Valentine’s Day.
Yep, you know the drill, all of the good restaurants have been booked up with reservations as far as two weeks ago and when you brought it up this morning, your husband just casually asked you “Do you want steak or do you want fish?”
Um, from the mall food court, honey?
Here are Five Creative Valentine’s Gifts (that don’t cost much):
1.) For your man, woman or (this first one) even for your child:
Hidden Post it notes: Red or pink would be cute. Just write little sayings, Be Mine, I Love You Forever, Be My Valentine, Kiss Me etc…and hide them all over the house, in your child’s school lunchbox, in the car, in the fridge, under the pillow, on the bathroom mirror…
…In your pants. Whoo! But that one’s only for your husband. Not for the mailman or Johnny Depp. Or your child. Obviously.
It would also be cute to do this with those little tear-apart Valentine’s Day cards for kids, the old fashioned kind we all used to give to the whole class, or just cut out homemade construction paper hearts.
The key is the element of surprise, and the loving sentiments make anybody feel good.
But if you put them in your pants don’t have the love notes falling out all willy nilly in public, that might lead to the requirement of bail money.
2.) Favorite foods picnic, indoors or out: You know your honey’s fave foods, get all of them in one basket and shame the devil on nutrition, even if they’re all white trash foods.
A fancy assortment of cheeses from a gourmet store and a baguette- yummy. Cheez whiz on Cheetos, why not? This sentiment comes from knowing what your baby loves, and saying this time, no balanced meal, no work, this is all about FUN.
3.) Wear something you never wear, step outside your fashion box. Red dress? Pink bra with hearts?
Or when was the last time you wore that lingerie you got for your bridal shower- the stuff you only wore one time? Or if you have the courage, toss on your swimsuit in winter. Or your husband’s long coat with nothing under it. Or why not his cowboy chaps? The key again is the element of surprise.
If whipped cream, Nutella or Cheez Whiz is involved in this one, I’m not here to judge.
And maybe butter. I’m not saying what to do with it, probably bake something if you have the touch, just have it on hand. Melted butter on Cheetos anyone?
4.) If you’re trying to save money, ask him to watch a movie he would never see without threats of divorce or injury, say a romantic comedy, the Justin Bieber 3D movie or two or three of the Oprah’s you have built up saved on your DVR.
If he won’t watch those with you, he should let you watch it while he does the dishes and all of the laundry or takes the kids to the park. This way you won’t have to injure him.
5.) Tell him exactly what you want for a gift. I mean exactly. No wiggle room.
Have you been desperate for a new camera like me? Pick it out, write all of the details down, point his feet in the right direction to the right store. Craving jewelry? Print a picture off of the Internet. Desire a new baby? Just trick him, girl, he doesn’t know if you took the Pill.
But I do mean it that you have to be specific and particular or you will 99.99 percent likely be disappointed, based on my own personal research at the Mensa Institute of Love and Romance.
Throw in a few chocolates and a card, handmade or purchased, maybe some flowers and wine or champagne if you do that sort of thing, and you have enough for most women right there.
Buy a red feather tickler from a romance store. A feather duster will do if it’s clean and free of grody dust bunnies. This is not Easter, Honey Chile.
To save $, pluck an unsuspecting bird and glue feathers to a stick.
The most expensive thing on that list is flowers and you can get them for less if you go to a nursery and get a potted flowering plant or just pick some free wildflowers if you live in a sunny climate like California.
Just hop into your neighbor’s yard if they have a rosebush. Shhhh! I said rosebush, nothing naughty. But you can also trim your hedges in the shape of a Brazilian heart.
I think that the best gift…and I know this is going on to #6…is a personal letter or note to your beloved. Even if you just type it and sign it, from the heart is what counts.
They want to know they are seen and loved in the midst of the daily struggles we all have with our families and jobs. That you still feel you are travelling through this wild and beautiful journey called life with the person you still consider to be your best friend.
You can spice it up by Googling Love Quotes off of the web, anything by Lord Byron:
“She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.”
And by the way, if you’re single, either just “cancel” the holiday in your mind, or do some or of all of the above for beautiful amazing YOU! Especially the Cheez Whiz and the red feather tickler, *hee*
No- for reals, Y’all, Happy Love Day!