Oh, if she only knew what life had in store!
I was making a “Life List” earlier today and realized hmmm…
If we’re going to make lists about things we want to do, we should probably make a list about the things we don’t give a shite if we ever accomplish.
I’ll go first.
1.) I don’t care if my house is the cleanest. Or if I have the cleanest bucket.
2.) I don’t care if I never lay my virgin gaze upon the World’s Largest Ball of String.
3.) I don’t care if everyone likes me. Especially the jerkmonkeys or douchefaces.
4.) I don’t care if I never get a rose tattoo on my boob.
5.) I don’t care if my big boat feet are ever as dainty as Japanese foot binders would like them to be.
6.) I don’t care if I’m referred to as “the cat’s a$$.” By actual cats.
7.) I don’t care if I ever learn to fly a plane. Or drive a race car. Or scuba dive deep enough that I could get the bends. I don’t ever want to be that bendy.
8.) I don’t care if I’m the most beautiful, the smartest or The Girl With The Most Cake.
9.) I don’t care if I never get a Brazilian bikini wax or dazzling vajazzling.
10.) I don’t care if I never have more sexual partners than Wilt Chamberlain or if I never join a gang or if I never go to prison or if I never run with the bulls in Pamplona or become Queen of England.
Or douche.
What’s on your “f*ck it” list?
xxx- h
‘HA! Love the name of “f*ck it list”
1. i don’t care if I ever wear bedazzled pants
2. i don’t care if i never drive a Lamborghini
3. i don’t care if I ever go to Kentucky
4. i don’t care about a lot of cr@p, especially if it’s a dogs, horse, cow or Llama
http://www.junecleavermom.blogspot.com
Love it!! I have to add mine.
I don’t care if my blog is read by one or one hundred and one. Whatever.
I don’t care if my house is a showcase. Or clean.
I don’t care if my car is nice as long as it gets me where I want to be.
I don’t care if I ever cook dinner again. I am sooo over that!
I don’t care what others think of me! That’s their problem not mine.
I don’t care that I am “old” and my hair is still long. I like it.
I don’t care about “‘stuff” anymore, much to the dismay of my husband. I just have to clean it, move it, or think about it, and I don’t want to.
I don’t care about the latest movie, ipod, phone, gadget, tv show, or ‘must have’. I don’t want it if everyone else does. I’m not a sheeple!
I don’t care about texting, talk to me instead. Or don’t.
http://www.lifeheartandsoulblog.wordpress.com
Dorothy,
I love your hair just like it is. And I don’t know your age but I can tell it’s spelled number awesome. Yes, and what others think of you says more about them than it does about you. Don’t you dare ever cook dinner again or clean anything, you deserve this time for you. I’m am soooo into your vibe. Big ups.
And Taren, I do not ever want to catch you in Kentucky, girrrlll. Although I’m sure Kentucky is lovely and I probably want to be invited to the Derby! xxxooo
There are certain yoga poses I will be happy to die without ever doing. They are sick and twisted and bodies that have lived a life probably shouldn’t ever be able to do that. Know what I mean? Those crazy bendy poses where you lift your entire person up by your abs? No thanks. I’ll take a pass. I’m small, not very flexible, and not at all strong. And happy with that. At 36. At 22 it was a bitter pill. But at 36 I’m fine.
http://www.team-suzanne.blogspot.com
1. I don’t care if I’m never not rich.
2. I don’t care if I’m never not pretty.
3. I don’t care if I’m never not eating Cheetos.
4. I don’t care if I’m never not asleep until noon everyday.
Sh*t. I think I misunderstood the assignment.
http://www.ludakristen.com
I peed a little at “dazzling vajazzling.” heeeeheheheheeee!!!
My F*ckit List:
1. I don’t care that no matter how much bleach is used, I will never be blonde.
2. I don’t care if I never “find myself”… I kinda like being a little bit lost.
3. I don’t care if my tattoos wind up sagging to the ground and are completely unrecognizable when I’m old… I still love the meaning behind them and why I got them.
4. I don’t care if I’m “too old” to wear this… I’m wearing it anyway.
5. I don’t care if I can’t compete with allllll of my friends who are already growing grandchildren and ask me with pity, “Do you have any grandbabies yet?” Ummm… NO. Because my kids are busy doing other things, like fighting for this country and keeping your ass free.
6. I don’t care if I never go to Disney World.
Rock on, mama!
http://www.deathbycupcakes01.blogspot.com
OMG I’ve got to comment!
I don’t care that I waste copious amounts of time blog surfing. You’re just mad I ran out of work to do at 10 this morning. If you had mad super skills like me, you’d be able to bullsh*t the system the same way I do.
1) I don’t care if people think I’m fat when I really am pregnant. You can SUCK IT.
2) I don’t care if you don’t like my animals hair on my furniture, which in turn gets stuck to your clothes. ITS CALLED FUR-NITURE for a reason. Asshat.
3) I don’t care that my boobs are going to deflate when I stop breastfeeding. At least at one point in my life I graduated from a A cup to a large B cup.
4) I don’t care that the skinny snotty couple at Wendy’s were lost in amazement at my nephew eating a cheeseburger, fries, 2 cokes, and a large chili. He’s a growing boy, unlike your ugly offspring who is obviously starving.
5) I don’t care if I ever leave the United States. I’m content in my little town, in my little state.
6) I don’t care if I ever own a brand new car. I’m not about keeping up with the Jones’ or the Mitchells or whatever the hell your last name is.
7) I don’t care that I’m the only city girl I know who owns 5 chickens. You bitch because my indoor animals leave fur on your clothes. For f*cks sake, the chickens are outside. Would you like fries with that? Damn.
That is all. Over and out.
hahahaha this is great!
I don’t care if I never win the Superbowl. Or become a Supermodel. I don’t care if I see the 7 wonders of the world. Some of them look boring.
I don’t need the biggest diamonds or to compete with any moms who try to “one up” you. My kid is a genius angel and the cream will rise.
I don’t need the most friends. It’s quality, not quantity. I don’t need to be invited to all the right parties. Most parties are only really fun when you are with people who get you and love you for who you are.
I don’t need the biggest poochy lips. You look like a scary fish lady. You are not Angelina Jolie, you just look like an alien fish mummy.
And girls who are too thin look like they are starving and miserable. Sex is fun with someone who enjoys pleasure, not denies their body nourishment and joy.
Peace out.
I’m going to steal some of yours! They are just too good!
I don’t want to clean my house to spotlessness… it never lasts.
I don’t want to be a stick figure… I love my curves (so does my husband)
I don’t care if my hair is done everyday… it’ll be messed up a few minutes after I leave the house anyway.
I don’t care if my son is the best athlete or the smartest in class… he is lovable, bright and sweet.
I don’t care if my husband and I are rich… our lives are rich with each other.
I don’t care if I never own a pet… No matter how great they are, I have plenty to do and don’t want the animal to inadvertently starve.
I don’t care if I ever hike a great trail or climb up a tall mountain… sea level ground is just fine.
I don’t care if I never have a threesome or attend a key party… one man is enough for me.
I don’t care if I ever become a great chef… I love eating it and my hubby enjoys cooking it, and when that fails, we can go out to eat.
[insert appropriate catch phrase here]
http://www.1001bcountdown.wordpress.com
No key parties for me, either! And certainly no orgies- yuck!
My “F*ck It Bucket” as I like to call it, is long, convoluted, and nonsensical.
I don’t give a damn if I don’t
-Eat stuff I don’t want to
-Never bungee jump
-Visit Mars
-Get married
-have the best stuff/dogs/kids/house/whatf*ckingever
-meet expectations
-live to be famous
http://www.tazerwarriorprincess.wordpress.com
I love you all exactly AS YOU ARE!!!
F*ck It if I never:
1. Pay $20,000 for a wedding that no one enjoys anyway. How horrible to shell out a house deposit for one day of crankiness because the handle on the cake knife wasn’t the shade of Eggshell one was expecting. When that day comes I’m determined to do it all for under $3k and to love the day cause I love the days ahead.
2. Wear a brand. I’m awesome. If you want your icon on this icon, you’d best be paying ME.
3. Learn to sing well. There’s only three places I sing; In the Car, At Kareoke and in my Church. If you’re in my car you shouldn’t be able to hear me singing over your own loud beltings of Sweet Child O Mine. If you’re at Kareoke then you should know by now that performance trumps skill everytime. If you’re at Church refer to Car and substitute Sweet Child O Mine for a Jesus song of some sort…..actually guys I do wish a little (lot) that I didn’t sing like a dying cactus *sigh*
4. Watch movies involving men disguised as women in fat suits. Oh my good golly graciousness SERIOUSLY can I lather myself in pigeon droppings instead? Still disgusting but much less painful.
5. Go fishing. It’s boring, smells like vejayjay and inevitably leaves me regretting the loss of several hours of my life which I will never ever get back.
6. Watch the Saw Quintology or whatever the heck it’s up to now. Call me a traditionalist but I prefer the old days when people didn’t watch characters being gruesomely slaughtered and call it entertainment.
7. Watch hip subtitled arthouse movies with barely discernable plots. Yes I realise I’m referring to movies a lot. I think I got on a roll somehow. But really, no one’s convinced that talking loudly about how interesting you find these sorts of movies makes you yourself any more interesting. Word to the wise….kinda makes you sound wanky.
8. Make a scrapbook *gah*
9. Go to a Kanye concert. Why oh why must you assail valuable radio time with songs about your penis, Mr West? I’ve very little interest in your willy *shocked gasp* I’ve a compensation theory that the more one raps lyrical about their genitals the smaller the package will be upon unwrapping. By this theory Kanye West and termites share 2 things in common; small peckers and an incompatibility for co-habitation with Moi.
10. Get rid of the scar on my face. It’s only little, but it’s part of my story and one day when I’m old and wrinkly it will be the only smooth bit left on my mug. I’ll be an anomoly studied by sceintists who aren’t even born yet.
Thanks for the awesome idea of a list H! First time I’ve read ur blog and it made me smile.
My F*^ck it list:
I don’t care if I ever;
1. Get my hooha waxed. I’m probably going to get hooha cancer anyway from always holding my cell phone in my lap while I drive, so meh..I’ll just keep on shavin’ on.
2. Ever really “fit in”. I never have before, why would I now? It would probably freak me out, or, OR, I would fit in totally with a bunch of freakazoids and cry for days on end at the injusticeness of it all.
3. Ever see the movie”The Village” again. I would then have to gouge my ears and eyes out with a hot poker if I did, and who wants to do that?
4. Meet Tom Cruise. He’s a douche. just sayin’!
5. Dance naked in a boobie bar. I don’t like to catch glimpses of my naked body in the fogged up mirror after a shower. I shudder at the thought of men ogling my “road map to birth control” body.
http://www.painfulspaghetti.blogspot.com
Love it!!!
Still laughing heres some of the things I don’t want to do
No 1. I really don’t want to run my old manager over with my car. I just imagined doing it. I have a really good imagination and that was enough for me.
No 2. No bungey jumping or parachuting for me.
No 3. No bleaching or waxing of parts of me that never see the sun.
No 4 I will never watch Brokeback Mountain, The Hours or 6 Freaking years in Tibet ever again unless they remake them with aliens. I think all those movies would be better with aliens in them.
http://www.stitch1peta.blogspot.com
Pingback: The Anti-Bucket List « Truth Mama
Great list! This inspired me to do my own blog post about it (I also linked back to this one on it). Here it is if you’re interested: http://truthmama.com/2011/09/12/the-anti-bucket-list/. Thanks!
http://www.truthmama.com
Cool! And thank you for linking back. I’ll come visit.
1. I don’t care if people will always say I’m immature.
2. I don’t care if I never get a “great carrier”
3. I don’t care if I’m not the smartest tool in the shed – at least I’m funnier.
http://www.prozacbirthdefect.com/omphalocele/