I’m having a pity party because I’ve been sick this week. All I’ve wanted to eat was loads of carbs and salty foods and I feel like I look like a scary sicky monster with 17 chins.
I probably gained about a trillion pounds and my skin is blotchy and I have dark circles under my eyes. But I feel guilty about complaining about this because I feel like other people have real problems.
Then I remind myself to put on my party hat again because I have real problems! I’m a recovering alcoholic and my son has severe scoliosis.
Poor pookie has been in his current brace for four months and I’m sick of the brace. I’m grateful for it and it is SO much easier than the 10 (life saving) casts, but still. I feel guilty strapping him in so tight every day into a hard plastic thing. He’s an angel about it, sniff.
I also really don’t want to be an alcoholic. It sucks that it’s a lifelong disease. The novelty has worn off for me and I don’t want it to define my whole life. But Bex has scoliosis and there’s nothing I can do about it but treat it and I have this thing and there’s nothing I can do about it but treat it, too.
Too ff-ing bad, Mama. WAHHHHHHH!!!!!
It’s not cancer and I wouldn’t trade places with someone who’s fighting that. I’m just feeling low. I want to be a glowing beacon of light and happiness, but right now I just want to punch a pillow, then crumble to the ground in a heap of patheticness and tears.
Sorry for the pukey sicky rant. I got to hug my healthy child this morning and that is all that really matters.