I was in a good mood and headed out my front door to walk across the street to pick up my child at school. We literally live right across the street from the elementary school gate.
It’s incredibly convenient, but kind of a problem sometimes because parents will occasionally leave their car illegally blocking our driveway when they go in to pick up their kids.
Since we have writer business meetings during the day and pitches (which are sort of like creative job interviews), we need to have our driveway clear in order to get our car in and out, obviously. To earn a living to support our child.
My husband has had to talk to people about it, both the parents who are causing the infractions and the school Principal, who is very nice about it and routinely sends out emails to ask the other parents to please be courteous to the neighbors.
So I walked out of my door on Friday and past my drive, noticing something out of order and odd: My large trashcans were placed at the end of my driveway, near the street but in the actual driveway itself, smack dab in the middle so a car would not be able to go in and out: blocking our driveway.
At first I just was confused, but then I saw a woman getting out of her car who was parked directly in front of our house. She looked at me and I looked at her and I asked politely, “Hi, you wouldn’t have…moved my trashcans there, would you?”
“Yes, I did,” she said, “They were in the street.”
Friday is our street garbage pick up day, so they were legally in the street, right where they were supposed to be. “That’s where they’re supposed to be.” I said.
“Is that a problem?” she asked unapologetically.
“Well, yes,” I said, “My husband is driving home from a meeting right now and he won’t be able to get into our driveway.”
I had to rush to get my child from Kindergarten and didn’t have time to pull the garbage cans all the way up the drive, but I knew my husband would not expect them to be blocking it- he would pass the tall hedge and try to pull in, possibly damaging the front of our car or much worse, causing an accident with children in other cars in the street.
This is the point where the worm turned. This horrible demon women from hell said “Well, I WISH YOU WOULD COME TO MY HOUSE AND PICK UP MY TRASH!”
It was the tone, bitchy and condescending when she knew she was clearly in the wrong: she had been busted doing something selfish and inconsiderate at best and dangerous at the worst. All she would’ve had to do is say she’s sorry and I would’ve totally let it go.
At this point I knew what I was dealing with, a horrible person. The names flew, she called me a bitch and I called her a bitch. I’m not proud that I cursed even though we both did, that’s the only thing I regret.
Then I walked off to pick up my little angel, totally upset and stressed out. Of course she didn’t move the trash cans up our driveway, which would’ve been actually helping with our garbage. Her point held no validity.
And why would I come to her house and pick up her nasty ass trash anyway, in saying trash, I guess she was referring to herself.
But wait, it gets worse.
So I am walking home with my BABY, and I see this demon from my peripheral vision talking to another parent, say, 20 feet behind me. I call my husband as me and Bex walk home and he tells me to take a photo of her car as a record.
I say okay and then notice the demon witch has purposefully rushed to catch up with me and stalk me across the street to yell at me in front of my child!
I try to take the photo of her license plate and she calls me names and announces that she heard I have yelled at every parent who ever parks in front of our house. First of all, why would I yell at people who park legally and don’t block our driveway? Secondly, I have never yelled at a single person about this in the past, not one. My husband has been home and he handled it.
My friends hearing this story have all found it pretty funny, they think this demon was off her meds that day. Imagine the ugly stepsister from Cinderella. But this was the most horrible thing she did of all: right in front of my 5 year old boy who has faced 10 body casts and near fatal scoiloisis, she yells “I feel sorry for your children!”
Oh, really? She feels sorry for my child that I helped save his life and his spine and lovingly sing him to sleep every night as a devoted sober mom, putting on his corrective brace?
Huh. This woman doesn’t know what kind of a mother I am, she doesn’t even know my name.
Oh and she threatened to assault me, I left that part out. The Principal said I should call the police but I decided the police probably have better things to do than deal with this Real Housewife from Hell who’s clearly gone off the rails of sanity and good human conduct.
Whew! Thank you for listening to my rant! I feel better, now. Do you have any Mean Mommy stories? Leave ‘em in the comments.