The Most Horrible Woman in the World

This is not her, but close enough.

Oh my God you guys, the woman sitting in front of me on our plane to Salt Lake City today was borderline evil!

Where do I begin? Well, we are on our medical trip to get Bex’s new spinal X-rays after he’s been in his current brace for 5 months, he’ll be getting a new brace this week because he’s grown.

We got on the plane (Southwest Airlines) and this woman got on after us with her husband or boyfriend and two kids. She was Caucasian and blonde and it turns out, an undiagnosed alcoholic with violent tendencies and rage control issues. Awesome!

When she sat down she asked her daughter, who was about eight or 9, where she wanted to sit, saying that her side of the aisle had babies on it and “You don’t want to sit near babies, do you?” The daughter shook her head “No,” looking scared.

This is important evidence because it tells me the woman knew good and well she was sitting near babies and on Southwest you choose your own seats! You can sit anywhere! The plane had just begun to board and there were plenty of open seats at the time.

The first sign of instability was when the women began yelling at her young teen son across the aisle, saying “Don’t lose anymore f*cking headphones! Got it? You hear me? Are we on the same page, here?!?”

He put his face down and got quiet. I felt sorry for the big kid.

And her charm didn’t end there, oh no. As the plane took off, a very young baby in a front row cried a little bit. This is what the woman said loudly, to the flight attendant: “If somebody would just put a bullet in that kid’s head I’m sure we’d all be a lot happier.”

Not her either, but you get the idea.

About a baby! Whose ears were probably hurting from the cabin pressure!

This woman had two kids. What, they never cried? Ok, so next she orders her drinks: five gin and tonics. Nice.

It’s an hour and forty five minute flight. I’m pretty sure she’d already had a few back in the airport.

The young female flight attendant says “I can bring you two now, I want to make sure everyone on the plane gets a drink who wants one.”

The horrible lady asked if she could have three instead of two. Bringing the drinks, the flight attendant accidentally dropped one lime. Horrible was not pleased.

Later she ordered several vodkas and two energy drinks called Monsters. I guess these were being shared with her boyfriend/husband. The male flight attendant came by and saw the couple had brought something of their own on the plane- I assume it was liquor or a different energy drink. He told horrible it was illegal for them to bring whatever they had on the plane.

This pissed Horrible off, so she demanded to know if they were charged for 2 energy drinks by the female flight attendant, because now she only wanted one. This caused a minor issue until horrible found her receipt and said out loud “Why can’t she just do her f*ckin’ job?”

I think somebody went to charm school! It’s not the energy drink who was the monster, seriously.

This woman also put her used drink trash on the floor in the aisle so the attendants would have to bend down to pick it up.

As the plane began to descend, the baby cried a lot, and horrible’s son leaned over to her and said “Do you have a knife?” meaning to stab the baby with!

She replied, “No, I have a gun.” Her poor children are gonna need some serious therapy in the coming years.

Then horrible announced “Why don’t they just throw a drink in the baby’s eyes? Make it a little f*ckin’ worse for the rest of us!”

It was all I could do not to confront her. The problem is, I knew it would end badly, because once I confront someone, Hell’s fury takes over me and we need this flight to take our son for medical care every few months. The Southwest employees were AWESOME and deserve a round of applause for containing the situation and not slapping that bitch.

You can’t reason with drunk people, I should know! But I know I never acted like that on a plane when I drank, never ever ever! Oh my gosh.

Two nice, gentle people confronted her, a young woman and then a man, and she really wasn’t listening. I admired them for trying, though. The man asked horrible if she had children and she said “I have two kids.” He said “I’m sorry if they never cried” and she said “Have you ever heard of Benedryl?”

He said “I don’t drug my kids.” Bravo! I also spoke to a pretty, nice young woman across the aisle from me and she gave me the info that horrible drank 5 of the 7 drinks she ordered herself.

The loving soul in me wants to add that I know alcoholics are often sensitive people and she must be very hurt somewhere deep inside to act like that. But it is a cautionary tale, because that is a person I never want to be.

Quick sidebar: I didn’t get a chance to post a picture of the red dress, but I promise I’ll do it when we’re back in L.A.! I have a size 10 and a size 12 now, and I’m planning to pick up a larger size for my lovely friend from here Candice to wear first and pass on, and possibly a smaller size like 6-8. Anyone really need a red dress moment who’s a teeny thing?

Big hospital day tomorrow and I’ll let you know how it goes! Fingers crossed that Bex’s little spine is growing straighter. Grow baby grow!

XOXO-

~ Heidi