Kansas Girls

kansas girls

Moving sucks monkey balls, seriously, don’t ever do it, but the upside to packing is unearthing endless precious life memories.

Like this Throwback Thursday picture of me, my very best childhood friend from Hays, Kansas, Michelle D. with the super light blonde hair on the left, and my older sister L on the right.

Aww, the 70′s! We were hawt, so Charlie’s Angels, ha ha.

I especially appreciate my “nude” hose under my red leotard (I’m in the middle.)


~ h

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Unlawful Imprisonment and Steak Knife in My Bed

heidi ferrer nick guthe

Moving is hard.

Remember the day my husband Nick accidentally locked me out of the house, trapped in our locked in backyard and out of our outside home office, with no keys or cell phone? Continue reading

Posted in A Giggle, Crazy Story, Loss and Change, Oops, WTF? | 2 Comments

I’m Breaking Up With A House

courage quote

We are moving. We’ve found a place that we think will be our next home.

It’s only a seven minute drive away from our current house, but you would think, based on my emotions, that I were being marched to the guillotine during the French Revolution. Continue reading

Posted in Fumbling Towards Ecstacy, My Dark Places | Leave a comment

Jellyfish Costume!

jellyfish costume

The results!

My DIY Jellyfish costume for Halloween was a hit, bar none.

I wore it trick or treating with family and friends, and I have never in my entire costume whore life gotten so many compliments from people of all ages.

Seriously. From wee tiny tots to young girls to grown men and women, people told me that “That wins!” and “I love your costume!” and “Rainbow Jellyfish!” about 100 times in two blocks of walking.

I kid you not.

I felt like flippin’ Miss America.

Here is the how to do it yourself for next time, if you’re feeling it.

My only caveat is that you do have to hold an umbrella up the whole time. And try not to smack anyone with it. Might be difficult at parties.

Totally worth it.


~ Heidi

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Halloween Jokes For Adults

Hey! I haven’t put up a video in a little while, so here are two silly Halloween jokes for grown-ups.

Both have a lil sex humor and the second one has some nun humor in it, so skip that one if you don’t want to hear any jokes about sisters.

I’m wearing part of my Wonder Woman costume from last year to be festive and ridiculous, but I’m not wearing the dark wig, because it makes me look like an unpretty drag queen, no offense to drag queens, who can be quite lovely.

Why can’t ghost couples have ghost babies? Because the dads have hollow weenies.

I’ll stop.

Happy Halloween!


~ h

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Halloween Mommy Mistake

one man show

I’ve been a little distracted lately. I think last year Halloween was on a Thursday, wasn’t it? Or the year before?

Let’s just say it was. Don’t Google it.

This morning, we got all excited and I got my boy Bex dressed up in his Halloween costume for the annual school kid’s costume parade. We enjoy it every year.

My son has inherited my love of costumes, in fact, he comes by it honestly, since I was wearing a slutty cave woman costume when I met his father at a costume party on October 30th, 1992.

Let’s just say it had the intended effect. Continue reading

Posted in A Giggle, Bexon, Mommy Mistake, Mommyhood, Oops, Parenthood | Leave a comment

DIY Jellyfish Costume- Part Two

jellyfish costume umbrella

Hey! Halloween is two days away, so I figured I better tell ya what you need to make a DIY (do it yourself) jellyfish costume if anyone else wants to try it.

The main thing you’ll need is a clear umbrella. I got mine on Amazon with two day shipping here: Totes clear umbrella.

I’m going to wear a lavender wig and go as Anime character Princess Jellyfish as I mentioned in Part One here.

This costume is pretty inexpensive and easy to make, it took me about 20 minutes.

All you need is:

1.) The clear umbrella, preferably dome shaped.

2.) A white outfit of any kind, or silver, or light pastel colors, or any combination.

I think I’ll wear a white skirt, a white top and a thin white trench coat, as it’s cold trick or treating at night with my kiddo. Maybe a white or silver scarf, too.

3.) Strong clear tape like clear packing tape.

4.) Things to stream off of the jellyfish as tentacles like ribbon, etc.

I went to the craft store and bought large bubble wrap that I cut into long strips, white and iridescent ribbon, one with more glitter and one that was wired on the ribbon sides, and white shimmery, thin tubing.

You can cut it as long as you like. I opened the umbrella and taped it on the inside of the bottom plastic with the clear packing tape.

The thin tubing, I just tied it inside the umbrella spokes on the top (the umbrella still closes.)

I went with a white, iridescent  theme, but you can be a green or blue jellyfish, or mix it up, whatever ya like.

5.) Lots of glow bracelets and necklaces in whatever colors you want.

I wrapped four glow bracelets around the top inside spokes of the umbrella to demonstrate here, but on the night of, I’m gonna use a ton of them to really light it up in the dark.

I may even wear some around my neck and wrists.

So that’s it! Wig or crazy make-up optional.

I’ll show you my finished product later this week. It should look something like this:



Love ya,

~ H

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