—actually the same hospital where I gave birth to my son Bex. I’m gonna post that story soon, it’s called “The Upside to Gaining 50 Pounds.”
But back to Elizabeth. One of my favorite quotes and I’m not sure who said it is “The knowledge of death is God’s greatest gift to us.”
When people pass on—I like to say pass on not “away” because I personally do believe our souls continue—
When people pass on, I try to look at what I can learn from their life lived, because Lord knows I could use a boatload of help navigating my own little existence on a day to day basis. As Chelsea Handler puts it, sometimes I can be a hot mess, girrrrll.
On that note, I put together this little list of 10 Ways I Can Live More Like Elizabeth Taylor Did.
Sort of an Elizabeth-inspired affectionately humorous “Life List,” if you will…
This legendary lady had a very big story and a spectacular life, so I have my work cut out for me.
Here goes! (…Numbers one through nine with tongue firmly implanted in cheek):
Is there a transplant or plastic surgery yet to change the color of your eyes? If so, my ordinary blue ones are being swapped out, STAT!
2.) Steal Debbie Reynold’s husband.
Wait, Debbie Reynolds isn’t married right now and her former husband Eddie Fisher has passed on as well. Hmmmm…
I’m gonna need to fix Debbie up and get her hitched before I can attempt this little boondoggle.
Unfortunately, Debbie is way hotter than me even though she’s twice my age and I don’t stand a snowballs’s chance in Sam heck of stealing her man.
Err…scratch that one.
3.) Get married 8 times. I have one marriage under my belt so far, fortunately I can marry my current husband Nick twice, as Elizabeth did with Richard Burton.
4.) Appear in more than 50 films. Okay, I’ve only been in one film so far that my husband directed (“Mini’s First Time”) with only 3 lines playing a hooker, so I better get crackin’.
This is not going to be easy to get financed by Hollywood in these tough economic times, so this production is gonna have to take place in my yard with my neighbor’s cat Humphrey Bogart as the sole audience member.
6.) Lifelong battles with weight and binge eating. CHECK!
I am all over this one! This is probably the closet I’ll ever get to being anything like Elizabeth…
7.) Have a tracheotomy and then dramatically win a well- deserved Oscar with the bandage still on my throat.
I am not that likely to ever win an Oscar, but I’m giving myself a tracheotomy right now with a sharpened #2 pencil.
Okay, not really, I was just being dramatic. I’m using a butter knife.
8.) Have both hip joints replaced. Twice.
I’m scheduling this next week.
9.) Have more than 20 major operations, but still be one of the most naturally beautiful women who ever lived.
That’s clearly not gonna happen as that genetic ship has sailed- sooooo…
Get entire face and body transplant.
And this last one is serious…
Elizabeth championed AIDS charities and research, which I also care deeply about as I’ve personally lost dear friends to AIDS.
My three year old son Bexon’s condition is also a potentially fatal one- although he is getting the proper treatment for it now and he is very unlikely to die from it, other babies and children are and will if awareness is not raised about his condition-
Progressive Infantile Scoliosis.
Didja know Elizabeth also had Scoliosis? Yep. As do an estimated 7 million people in the U.S. In the world, perhaps around 200 million or more.
We’re here, we’re curvy, get used to it! (Hope my gay friends don’t mind if I borrow a version of that line…)
I’m trying to raise awareness for IS here on this blog and through a PSA (public service announcement) my husband shot with actor Peter Gallagher, but we have a very lonnnnng way to go to even get to think of Elizabeth’s petite charitable champion designer shoes– never to attempt to fill them. No one ever could.
I think along with her four children that must be one of her greatest legacies.
And that is the main lesson I want to take from Elizabeth on how to life my life.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
P.S. We’re number 11 in a contest and the competition is fierce! With just 2 clicks- first here- Top 25 Funny Moms -and then ya just scroll down and click the “thumbs up” next to Girl to Mom-
-YOU can get us back in the top ten! Let’s rock this out! (You can vote every day until March 28th if ya feel like it )
We’re here, we’re curvy, get used to it!!!
-XOXO – h