The Hardy Boys Now

Parker Stevenson With 60 year old hottie Kirstie Alley rockin’ her sexy booty all over TV’s “Dancing With the Stars” it got me to pondering about her dreamy ex-husband:

What does Parker Stevenson look like now?

Didn’t you just love “The Hardy Boys” growing up? If you’re too young to have seen it, you might be able to catch some clips on Hulu.com or YouTube. It’s worth it, girl.

So this above pic is what Parker looked like THEN, and here is

Parker Stevenson Now:

Parker Stevenson NowAHHHH!!! He’s still hot! He looks like Harrison Ford! Look at those EYES.

Piercing. Intense. Fire. Blue Steel. Blue Ice Ice, baby.

I’m liking it. This may be the time to leave my husband. Just kidding, honey! But I am 40, no time like the present.

Why did he and Kirstie Alley ever break up? Remember when she won a Golden Globe and thanked him for “Giving me the big one every night?”

Parker Stevenson Kirstie Alley

Parker Stevenson and Kirstie Alley

That was a little inappropriate for national network TV, perhaps. But they were married. I’m no prude. Even though I still believe Kate Middleton is a virgin.

By the way, if you go 2-3 weeks without sex you’re automatically re-virginated. Medical fact, I didn’t make it up. Google it.

Okay, I did make that up. But I have a confession to make:

Shaun CassidyI loved Shaun Cassidy back then, Parker was not my man. And now…I admit it. I think Parker is hotter.

I flip flopped. I’m not loyal to Shaun, even though I met him once and wept on his loafers like a little girl.

My name is Heidi and I’m a hard crushing boy crazy flip flopper.

Shaun Cassidy nowHere is Shaun Cassidy now. Did you see him on “Oprah” last season? He sang some of his hit songs from back in the day, like “The Do Run Run.”

To be honest, it didn’t have the same appeal to me as in the olden days of ore. But I still hold a special place in my heart for Shaun. I even lost my virginity to a boy named Shawn in Hays, Kansas (really).

This Hardy Boy Shaun was pretty much my first elementary school celebrity crush and he helped make me the woman I am today.

Sorry about that, Shaun. You’re still full of awesome.

Rob Lowe SodapopI have to admit I even liked the old version of Rob Lowe more than Parker back then. This version. Remember when he played Sodapop, Ponyboy’s brother in the movie “The Outsiders“?

What a cute greaser. I had a thing for Rob Lowe as a young teen. I even had an elaborate recurring fantasy about him:

I would be driving a crappy old car like my sister’s first honkin’ junker that she was horribly embarrassed by but my Mom bought because she thought it was so big, it would keep her safe.

I would be driving alone and my car would break down on the Causeway bridge on the way to New Orleans.

Rob Lowe would happen to be driving by and stop to help me as a good Samaritan and it would be love at first sight. We would soon get married, THE END.

Yes, that’s the whole fantasy, pretty chaste, huh? And then he would rip off my clothes! Nah, I liked it without the porny part. I wanted him to see me and hear music swelling, not anything in his Levis.

Rob LoweHere he is in the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire“- the jokester bad boy version of Rob.

But back to Parker. He went to Princeton like my husband.

That doesn’t mean he’s smart but it bonds us in some way, no?

Parker StevensonOkay not really. How am I ever gonna make it up to Parker? How can I explain why I loved Rick Springfield more than him when I was 10?

Rick SpringfieldMaybe it’s because Parker didn’t sing.

Parker Stevenson black and white

But just look at him in black and white.

Sigh!

Yummy.

Well, it’s never too late to reform and change and make amends for past mistakes. Parker, you are still smokin’ hot. Call me!

Or don’t, I don’t think I could take you giving me “the big one” every night. My stomach’s a little woozy right now because I threw up yesterday. I mean, not me, it happened to my…friend. My pet unicorn…Hildy.

Unicorn

Hildy

Hildy caught a virus from my 3 year old son, Bex.

He threw up 5 days ago, projectile vomited actually, directly up into the air when he was in his bed, and it rained down chicken noodle soup all over his hair, on the bedding and wall and down his plaster scoliosis cast that he still has to wear for 3 more months.

It was stinky, but we’re both better now.

Wait, that’s not a sexy story, is it?

Never mind. I’m a Mommy and I’m married and I’m um, re-virginated.

XOXO-

~ Heidi

P.S. If you missed my earlier post about Parker and other girlhood crushes and would like to, click here to view Cute Boys Doing Good. Take a little time to enjoy the view! *Hee*

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2 Responses to The Hardy Boys Now

  1. Pingback: Cute Boys Doing Good | Girl to Mom…trying to become a grown up before my kid does.

  2. Marla Scoggins says:

    My favorite on the hardy boys is Parker Stevenson, because I love to watch other movies with him in them. I have the DVD of North@South, because he plays Bill Hazzrd. How can I get any autograph picture of Parker Stevenson, he is still very handsome. Marla Scoggins

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