Your Vagina is Perfect

Sexy Baby Poster

I just watched a very good documentary called “Sexy Baby” about how the Internet, pop culture and people’s easy access to porn is affecting women’s lives, including young girls and how they think and feel about themselves.

Okay, so one of the young women the doc followed was a beautiful young assistant Kindergarten teacher in her 20’s who was dying to have vaginal plastic surgery.

She thought her labia was too big and wants it to look “like a porn star.” This is just so crazy to me.

rose budI mean, I’m not against plastic surgery in general at all, but girls, can we just start with men are just happy to be down there?

They are thrilled beyond belief! If any man ever disses your vagina, he is an asshole, honey chile.

Run. Run like the wind and take your precious hoo ha to someone who appreciates it.

Wow, I guess the young teacher’s previous boyfriend had mentioned that her vagina looked different than what he was used to seeing in porn stars. Being the tough, truth seeking journalist that I am, I Googled a slang term called (brace yourself) “roast beef curtains.”

According to the Urban Dictionary, it means “Extra long and dark labia resembling curtains made of roast beef.” I’m so sorry you had to hear that.

My question was, how bad can her vagina look that she is willing to spend $10,000 dollars (Yes, it can cost that much) to have a chunk of her labia cut off? *shudder* Plus, there are a lot of nerve endings down there! More than on a penis, I hear. You don’t want to mess with that shizz. What if you lose sensation?

And by the way, think of all of the other things you can spend $10,000 on! Invest that money and come back in 20 years, honey. Invest in Apple products, you’ll be rich. You’re welcome.

Alright, so I Internet searched images of this type of surgery, before and after, which you can see on plastic surgeon’s websites. I did this so you don’t have to. Seriously, don’t do it.

pink roseHere’s my conclusion: These plastic surgeons stretch out the labias in the “before” photos to make them look worse, like “wings.”

In fact, most of them looked normal, just variations on a theme. Only one out of 10 pictures looked like she had a valid cosmetic reason for the labiaplasty surgery.

Oh, and get his, I love how these doctors list that the women want this surgery for easier hygiene! That is ridiculous, they can’t wash an extra centimeter of skin? Please. We weren’t born yesterday and neither were our vaginas.

In other countries, girls are circumcised against their will, why would we want to be doing this to ourselves and paying for it? That is just nuts. Do I think my lady garden looks like a porn star’s? I could not care less, you know how many men are clamoring to get in there? My vagina is magic and so is yours. I’ve never heard a complaint, just a lot of begging.

Girls, I’m here to tell you that your vagina is beautiful just the way it is. It’s perfect and don’t let anyone tell you any different. There don’t all look identical and they are not supposed to. That is all.


~ Heidi

This entry was posted in Bossy Advice, Pop Culture, Scary. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Your Vagina is Perfect

  1. Gail K. says:

    See, how come we never hear about this stuff on the Evening News?? Perhaps you should send this info to the members of Congress who are so concerned with what is going on with women’s body parts – then they can figure out another reason to persecute women.

    I love you Heidi – you always get to the meat of the matter!! (yeah, bad pun!)

  2. weezafish says:

    Great post Heidi, and so true. When will (some) women stop letting their perception of what MEN (in a vast general group) think is attractive, guide their own sense of what is attractive about their own bodies? Not going to look up those pictures, how insulting is that term for a ‘condition’ that is in fact just a normal healthy part of our bodies, aesthetic or not??! Must we chop off anything we don’t think looks aesthetic on our bodies? Not me!

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