(Warning: This is partially a poo post.)
My four year old son is a gorgeous, smart, funny, talented and athletic child- full of charisma and spirit- but unfortunately, he is just not grossed out by germs.
Let’s review the recent cringe worthy evidence (I haven’t seen the movie “Contagion,” but it sounds like my monkey is starring in it):
1.) Yesterday after preschool his teacher took us aside and said that our child not only stuck his hand in the potty to play in the toilet water (again)…
2.) He also found a shart (my word, not the teacher’s) in his butt, stuck his finger in it and then showed the poo to the other kids. Mommy is so proud!
And worst of all…
3.) …He spit on another boy in class. Gee, I really hope my sweet hearted angel is not the school bully.
4.) After coming home and a good talking to, we put Bex in a pull-up because he usually goes #2 when he gets home and our pediatrician said it’s fine if he’s sometimes still scared of going #2 on the potty.
Boys his age are wary of it sometimes, it’s not that uncommon, she said.
(Sidebar: My kiddo does not ever really poop at school. He waits, yesterday was just a small accident. We think we let him eat too much crunchy roasted seaweed. Fiber. It was green.
He goes to school in Thomas the Train “big boy” underwear” and uses the toilet to pee, along with the other munchkins. TMI?)
So back to yesterday afternoon. We put him in the pull-up and he’s watching his educational cartoons.
A minute or two later, my husband and I were in our office working when Bex casually walked in with no pants on, holding his pull-up in his hand, now with a poop deposited in it.
Ahhh…the glamorous life!
5.) Bex will also drink rainwater out of a dirty puddle in our backyard, or out of a kid’s bucket he’s been using to dig to China in the dirt.
He’ll stroll inside the house and fill the crusty dirty plastic bucket with water from the sink and try to drink it like it’s Evian from a refreshing mountain spring.
All of this, I hope, will be good for his immune system someday. Maybe when the killer virus comes, he’ll be able to save us all. Then by God, it’ll all be worth it, when his green sharts make my baby a world hero.
Green power! It’s eco-friendly, right?
Errr…let’s just forget this ever happened.